Samskaras/ My Conditioned Experience/ Batman

I didn't know there were bats in Mysore. I thought those silhouettes of frenetically flapping wings were birds. I didn't give them much thought. My brain processed the thing that was flying as "bird" and left it at that. But then my friend jumped and yelled "bat". Until that moment, for me, bats did not exist in Mysore.

I'm riding on a scooter with my friend who just arrived and who kindly moves to the side when other vehicles come into the way. "You have to honk!" I shout into the wind. We're learning to drive like how bats fly--by sound. We're learning to define space and our position in a new way. We pass on the right. We honk when we are approaching. We move to the left when we are honked at. We place ourselves on a grid two honks forward and one to the left.

In this body and in this life I'm reminded/realizing that I have to remember to listen for the honking. Where I am in space changes and can always be different and new. There are things I never thought were physically or mentally possible that I am now doing. On a physical level I know that means something but it is on a mental level where the interesting stuff is happening. Is my body making the change or is it my mind? If it is my mind, then where is it taking me and why? I know we are working to the point of just observing, but right now I feel like there is so much happening like breathing and blinking that I have no control over and I'm just witnessing. Is this me doing this posture? Is this me lifting up? Is this me exhaling? Is this me as an intermediate student?

To be something do you have to believe it?

The petri dish overflows, the pimple pops, there is an outside world

Last night I saw a movie called Perfume. Very strange, but highly entertaining. I think I recommend it. Very strange in a non-gory-yet-bizarre kind of way. I didn't go to the pool. Playing the part of the menstruating female, I felt fat and couldn't imagine stuffing what felt like my lard ass into a bikini and stomping my thunder thighs toward the water. Sorry, I just couldn't do it.

Instead, I ate my ration of homemade chocolate (dark with almonds) and pined over the idea of my boyfriend and I and our little life together here in Mysore. As you know, he isn't here, but we've been talking about it and anyway, a girl likes to have her "Mrs. so and so" dreams during a certain time of the month. At least I wasn't crying. (But I almost did today when I was watching the led second class. Ha!)

Even though I didn't have to wake up until 6:30, I found myself tossing and turning at 4am. So I called ____. Cell phones are so much like cigarettes. We talked and talked until the sun was coming up and I felt the inspiration to take a shower. Imagine--I have a bucket and western shower, but choose the bucket! India is a great place to bring your kids or embrace your inner child. You get to eat with your hands. Really, you can stick your fingers into food and no one really minds. Everything is made with lots of sugar. You can walk around barefoot. You get to dump buckets of water over your head and make a huge mess in your bathroom. There are farm animals everywhere...

I watched the led second series today, which was led by Guruji. He was really on it. It was so inspirational to watch. Its not that the poses are impossible, its the whole package. It took these people many years of visits to get to that point. They had to sacrifice so much of themselves just for this moment. It was awesome. The entrance way was packed with students watching.

After the class Rachel and I had breakfast up on my roof and a little chanting session with the harmonium. A person can get away with a ridiculous amount of hippie-like behavior here. We forgot the time and it was almost 11 before we were on our way to the green market. Every Sunday, the Green Hotel hosts a green market that features what I think is mostly organic produce and products. People are very serious about the market. There is a queue formed at each table before the official start at 10am. Everyone mentally picks out what they want and if I recall, someone must ring some sort of bell because right when it turns 10am, everyone charges the table like rats on a carcass. This lasts for about 10 minutes, and if anything is left, the booths might stay around until about 10:45. Luckily, when we got there there were still a few booths set up. I want to buy more veggies and things to cook at my house, but being as it is a one room studio, I really can't be bothered with dealing with food smells or the possibility of wild life in my sleeping area. That said, I feel like I should exercise some sort of restraint when it comes to eating out, which to be honest is how I do it around here. It is so inexpensive, you don't have to clean, you get to hang out with friends, and the food is awesome. Could you blame me? Even so, I'm trying to get a few things that don't involve a lot of preparation, clean up, or odor. Like avocados, which they call "butter fruit" in India. I also bought some hummus and I'll get some bread for little sandwiches.

Tomorrow, I think I'll go to practice again. On the way out of the Shala this morning I ran into Sharath.
"You no come today." He said.
"Holiday," I replied. He nodded his head.
"But I'll be here tomorrow for pasasana!" He smiled and laughed. Its a lot like having a crush in school on a much older, super popular guy. He noticed me! *sigh*

Month 2

As I sat waiting in the doorway on Wednesday, ready to scurry like a mouse into the shala at the sound of "one more!", Sharath surprised me with "you come earlier, 6:30."

Boo, but doable.

So on Thursday, I went at 6:30, it was really nice to be practicing beside people I had become friends with. After I did my finishing postures, I tapped Sharath on the shoulder (which is really only okay if you want to take a picture or you want to pay for classes) and asked him if I could pay. We went into the office with the mysore class still going on. (To the bane of many a student, Sharath leaves the room whenever he wants. I've heard that sometimes he's reading the paper in old-school guruji fashion. This means hanging out in a pose like kapotasana [pictured] for 25 breaths hoping that Sharath will finish his coffee and see how great you are).

"Monday you take pasasana..." yay!

"Come early at 6am." Boo!

As I handed over the 17,500 rupees for month 2, he wrote out my new id card. He told me that he thought I was Indian, and I took the opportunity to ask him if that meant I could get the Indian discount. He laughed and said, "for you double!" didn't notice until later that day that he actually wrote 5:45am as my practice time on the card. (Indian students practice in the afternoon with Sharath at a discounted rate. There are usually less than 10 people in the class and lots of personal attention. Sometimes, when he is busy, he'll tell them to go to an early class.)

What this means is that not only am I at an earlier mysore practice time Monday-Thursday, but that I have also "graduated" to the earlier led classes that start at 5 on Friday and Sunday instead of the comfortable but still difficult 6:15. You may think 5 is no big deal, but it means that actually, you have to hold a place at the gate at 4:30, otherwise you're likely to be practicing in the changing room. Up I was at 3;30 this morning. I've heard that 3am is the darkest part of the night. Is this also true in India?

I walked up the road toward the Shala, it was so quiet and so dark, I kept wondering if I read the time right. Then, from the shadows (ha!) I heard Emma calling me. (She lives really near by my house). We trudged up the hill to the Shala road which goes down hill so that really, I could tell my kids one day that when I was their age practicing yoga in India, I had to walk to and from the Shala, uphill both ways! I had this feeling that my skin was dragging me one step after another but that my organs were made of lead. As we moved closer to the gate, dozens of eyes (hollow and bloodshot) stared at me from below hoods and scarves and hunched outlines in the darkness. My eyes slowly adjusted, and I was able to make out the images of semi-friendly faces (it is only 4:30 in the morning) to huddle with.

Inside, I got a spot between Eduardo and Thiago right in front. We had such a good time in that class. Guruji led, and I caught him watching Thiago and I as we battled over (in the most yogic, uncompetitive way, of course) who could fly, bind, twist, fold, and back bend with the best/fastest/most accurate vinyasa-ist technique. Post practice, I was drenched with swet, but filled with smiles.

About 20 minutes after the class, my vibrant, so-cool-to-wake-up-this-early,-I'm-a-morning-person,-really energy wore of and turned into "must lie down". I washed my hair, which was soaked with chlorine from my stint as a mermaid this week, and managed to talk myself into washing my clothes before a fitful 1 hour nap. Hey, I tried. Breakfast at Tina's was delish as usual, but kind of sad because a lot of people are leaving. A lot of people are always leaving.

I'm off to India Song House for dinner tonight as a farewell to Johanna (the girl with super-long eyelashes who let me borrow her swimsuit for laughs).
Tomorrow-rest.
Sunday-ladies' holiday and for some, the return of the second series led class which has led to a certain degree of panic amongst those "invited" to attend. Should be fun to watch!

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