Friday nap rant

I did it.  After asking myself "okay, what next?", writing out a short to-do list for the afternoon (laundry, grocery, clean dishes, wash hair, email so and so), I pulled the sheets over my head and took a sweet afternoon nap.  That groggy, delicious, fermenting kind of nap. The kind where I dream that I am dreaming and wake up in the dream and push caramels the consistency of Indonesian ginger candies into my teeth.  The kind where my eyes are covered in gravel and I wake up feeling sugary and in need of a shower and washed hair.  I roll (literally) off and down from the bed, pull my hair back, and shuffle to the kitchen to reflect on the day and eat two Indonesian ginger candies.  I don't push them into my teeth.

Practice.  I didn't notice this before, but today, the Manduka was getting in my way.  On Primary days I don't use the rug and so my skin pulled every time it made contact.  In places where I might have slid (gracefully of course), or melted, instead I clung and sometimes suddenly jerked when the skin was let loose and I was taken off guard.  In Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana, my leg wobbled as my foot mushed around the spongey surface.  I felt achy and tight.  Some days are like that.

Heard on the news of a gaggle of teenage girls have formed a pact to get pregnant.  This followed a segment on whether Americans would prefer to spend what little money they have on groceries or gas.  There was also a feature on the dismal possibilities for joining the working world, the staggering number of foreclosures (sell now and take WHATEVER price someone will give you), the obesity epidemic, and the increase of food cost/decrease in food package size.  And there's global warming.  Oh yeah, I almost forgot--we're at war.  The dollar is dropping. Our health care system is shit (it really isn't "ours", I suppose it is better to say those who have and those who have not?).  There's an election coming up (yes I'll vote Obama--the lesser of two evils--neither candidate is that great but please DO NOT vote for McCain, thanks).  And if one was so inclined to pay attention, there are still starving children in third world countries, AIDS, natural disasters, and general injustices for all.  

Maybe getting knocked up isn't such a bad idea.  You know what you'll be doing for the rest of your life, in fact, you have a very clear projection of the next 60 years or so (if one is to assume you are 15 years old and people die around age 77.2), based on the ebb and flow of your child's life and the fact that your whole existence will now be in service to it.  You don't have to worry about your social life because you won't really have the teenage stereotype, college? yeah maybe, you can definitely count on plenty of menial, low-paying jobs (without a college degree)--wait no, you'll probably get a job that doesn't pay well even with a degree--, a pile of bills and nothing else to worry about except keeping you nose to the grindstone and keeping your kids fed.  Maybe you'll be able to make your way out of the child fall-out when they are in their twenties, and the world will have sorted itself out by then.  

Anyway, at least it is a guarantee of the future.  And actually, it is a natural function of the human body... Hmm.  That's probably enough for today. 

Getting out of the funk/I see the light!

Primary can be a real drag. All the forward bending and linear movements and endless prostrating, for those of us with a slight inclination toward the blues who also live in "ick" weather, this is a recipe for a sad face. And if you haven't gotten any new poses in awhile this is called the plateau. We have all been there at one point or another and will continue to find ourselves on that long stretch of same many times to come. But the question is, how does one break the plateau and at the very least, make it feel like new?

My first experience with the plateau came when I was working full primary and nothing seemed to be happening. I felt heavy. I felt stiff. I was only getting the basic adjustments that everyone else gets. I realized that nothing was going to change unless I changed it and that I could be doing primary only until the end of time, so I had better find some ways to make it interesting. But mostly, I realized that I shouldn't be dreading the thought of practice. This is my life and my time and I want to enjoy it!

How to reinvigorate, re inspire, resurrect and have fun in practice

1. Think positive. For me, I used a three-fold path. Practicing with a smile, thinking happy thoughts, listening to go-get-em-tiger music before practice. My mantra was "I LOVE this!"

2. Get light. Uddiyana bandha changed everything. I made hollowing out my belly the main focus of my practice. This action helped make the jumps jumpier, the lifts "liftier", and everything more economical.

3. Stick to the vinyasa. No more extra breaths, looking around, going to the bathroom, adjusting clothing, or whatever it is you distract yourself with. Stick to the vinyasa. If you don't know it, learn it.

4. Open your heart. In my pre-ashtanga existence, I enjoyed the high I got after back bending. (I did mention that I was a sensation junkie.) I felt confident, like I could do anything. And my back bends weren't even that great. Something happens psychologically when you open your chest, just as something happens when you round your shoulders (there was an entire movement around this, they called it "heroin chic" and "grunge"). But with all the forward bending in primary, how is this possible? The answer is simple: turn everything into a chest-expanding, heart opening, breast busting, expression of your fourth chakra. Why not? Ashtangis are known for their crappy shoulder alignment, it can't do anything but help. You'll thank me when you get to second series. So in every pose, from chaturanga to kurmasana, I tried to think expansion, chest melting, collar bones wide.

5. Become a back bender. I spent more time learning how to deepen my wheels and learning to come up. Rocking from hands to feel helped to open the chest and to learn how to distribute my weight in order to stand. Plus, it really stretches the chest. (Inhale rock forward to the feet and pelvis, exhale rock to the hands and chest.)

6. Be objective. Pretend you are outside looking in. Is there anything that you could put more effort into? For me, it was all the lifting up stuff. Navasana and lift ups. Bhujapidasana and exit vinyasa. Headstand. Uthplutih.

Perhaps not everyone goes through this, but I have a tendency toward extreme happy and extreme sad. In primary, I was making everything a downer. Very tamasic--heavy and sluggish. Dull, even. I looked at my diet, my attitudes, my motivation, and added some fire (rajas) to the mix. It sucks, but eventually I had to learn how to do the work and inspire change in myself. I realize (though often forget) that no one will save me, rescue me, take care of me, or learn to jump back from bakasana, but me.