I miss blogging. I do.
There are many truths to why I am at the bottom of the mountain with all my gear just paralyzed and unable to take that first step...until now? No guarantees. The truth is that I don't want to feel that I am writing for anyone. I don't want to feel like I am doing anything just to report back or bring to show and tell. I am at a place where I really want to share stuff but also want to keep it to myself. I want people to read but I also want to pretend that no one reads it at all. I want to be anonymous, but also I don't.
I want to say where I am in practice, how it is going, and that my scalp sheds like a snake skin. I want people to reply that that happened to them too from the headstands. But I also don't want to say that I am doing them. I want to say that I am teaching a little again, but I don't want word to get around and get into "trouble" with whomever.
It is really weird. I have been writing a bit on a completely private blog. I don't check the grammar, I just kind of write whatever. It is so much different when you know that it is possible for people to read the bullshit that you write. I feel like I really have to say something.
Here it is: I don't know what to say.
I get that "headstand dandruff" too!! So funny.
ReplyDeleteI understand your reluctance to write about asana, but I think, in this private setting, that you have chosen people to let in who are not going to judge you for having fun in asana talk. I enjoy it tremendously, but realistically I know it's just a past time. The practice is going to be there and be what it is for me no matter how much I obsess on the physicality of it.
omg so i'm not alone? sweet relief! blogging can be--a community, support system...
ReplyDeletei feel so much better! i asked teach (about how i am maybe going bald) and he was like "i dunno".