The battle scars never end

I have a huge bruise on the back of my arm from karandavasana. I was trying and trying and trying and then at a certain point I realized that I could do it one more time but what was the point of getting it today, right now? I had to let it go. There is a point where the ego-less effort turns into ego-feeding effort. You should try your best but without attachment to a goal. Or something like that.

Everyday feels like a gift. I have, what? 6 days left? So, I have deep cleaned my kitchen and parts of the rest of the house. I made granola and yummy meals and feel like giving and taking all the good stuff on this earth. Yes, I am having a serious new age hippie moment.

Today I have to do some serious work on a crazy epic upcoming project...But when I'm not doing that, I'm running around finding little amazing things to bring home.

Holy toe!

Last year someone was whining to me about their torn up toe. Yeah yeah yeah I said. Nope that hasn't happened to me, didn't you know I was invincible? Duh!

Slowly, my mortality revealed itself. Dry, chapped skin and callouses around my big toes have formed protective coverings marking exactly the spots where my toes roll from chaturanga to up dog and up dog to down dog. Yes, it is a little ugly but not the end of the world. Nothing a proper and regular pedicure regime couldn't counter. But now it has gone too far. There wasn't any callousing around the bottom of my big toe and a few days ago I noticed that the skin was tearing and then it just ripped. It looks like a splintered piece of wood and feels like it too.

"You have 'Mysore toe'?!" My friend yells. Huh--no, me? Of course not. She explains that that was why Sharath's toes were all taped up when we were in Mysore. Really? I ask her. Uh huh. The story goes that she went in to ask Sharath about it during the Indian afternoon class (westerners at crack of dawn, Indians in afternoon). "OH MY GOD! So THAT'S why you have tape on your toes!" She's yelling, he's adorable and quiet. He laughs a little and says shh.

Nose dive

One! two! three--pincha--four.

five! six--karan--floor!

Ah karandavasana.  The many lessons learned.  With this practice, when we realize that we "are", then we realize that we have to start from the beginning.  And then we wake up again and realize that we "are" and that we have to start from the beginning.  

I'm in karandavasana (or is it "on" or "doing" or "being" or "trying"?).  No, go back.

I've kicked up to pincha mayurasana.  I realize that I am here I am awake I am breathing that I could choose to give up and fall or choose to ride the wave of where I am.  I realize I am breathing.  I am having an out-of-body-experience inside my body.  But it isn't my head, it it somewhere higher--my thighs perhaps?  I fold one leg, I fold the other.  (It feels more like stitching to me.)  I squeeze them tighter.  I lean my chest forward and PLOP! I've landed for a split second on my upper arms before falling on my butt.  This was the third attempt.  The others were like cliff diving (minus the diving and more like a canon ball but less like a belly flop with arms flailing which is an improvement).  I try one more time and it is back to the diving but at least I had that moment of clarity where time stops and someone whispers the clue and my body starts to do what it must have been born to do.

Then Guy comes over.  I triumphantly cross on my own.  I begin to lower down confident in my new insight on how I will figure out this puzzle.  Guy's confidence must have matched my own because--did he notice that I landed on my nose?  Finished the rest of the pose without a hitch, but spent a few moments reminiscing of back when he taught me bhujapidasana and the exit vinyasa and all the nose dives it took for me to figure that one out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyU3Gs6zTUQ
 

You wake up and realize the mattress you are sleeping on is in the middle of a lake.  You paddle back to the shore.

Practice framing the moondays is always a mix of haphazard experiences.  I'm really light, I'm really heavy.  I'm really strong, I'm really weak.  I lose my balance, I'm spot on.  Happy for the day off.

Okay, so there have been quite a few requests for a part 2 in the "how the @#%! do you...?" series (jump back).  I'm thinking about it...

If you haven't joined the livingmysore magazine google group to receive notices of when we have a new mag out, be sure to do so here.  Also, we are collecting submissions for the July issue...