Friday, September 10, 2010

Surrendering to one's duty: ant killer


As the ant ranks swell around the doorjamb, my role becomes clear: I am Arjuna. Although the weight of all that death weighs heavy on my heart (I really like ants, they seem really smart and cute and have a really excellent work ethic), it is my duty to take care of the apartment and in the epic battle between man and beast, I must take a stand. I find a can of industrial mosquito mustard gas and hope to spray the animals out the door. My attempt at humane crowd control fails and the little creatures scatter. I chase them around the apartment alternating between sickening swats and noxious sprays. The event was clearly in the direction of death and destruction and I had no choice but to kill them all lest the survivors reorganize and plan a counter attack while I sleep. I'm haunted by the idea of opening my eyes to an army of ants staring at me from a pillow or carrying me away to their secret lair where they can charge me with crimes against humanity.

After the last spray was sprayed and ant smooshed, I turned out the light and pulled the covers wondering if that will be the last of that. I know deep down that it isn't. The following morning, I crouch around the apartment scraping up ant corpses to take to the mass grave in the kitchen. Horrible, just horrible. But I am Arjuna and this is my duty and I'm doing it. As Deletion says, I don't know God's plans, death is a part of life, and maybe it was their time to be born into a higher state.

-Saturday, India

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