I recall that time on Indian pharmaceutical cocktails when I felt my body melting and thought I was going to die and I don't know if I was supposed to fight or give into it because I was afraid of not knowing what was on the other side and losing what I already had.  It was frightening in an epically cinematic kind of way where the whole world was realized as a series of illusions with a sense that one scene could just transition into the next.  It's like that.  A new year, yes, but a lot of the same and a lot of the new.  Things happening all around that I kind of think was always there that I never saw.  Too busy building, gardening, tending, to my own little world.  Sort of being in this eggshell that is turning into translucent jelly with outsides meeting the insides and the yolk becoming a part of everything.

So, yeah, I don't know how to write about that.  I stared at the screen for a while.  Put a picture that kind of was part of it and tried to describe melting eggshells.  It's like it is too precious or something, which is totally embarrassing and not at the same time.  It just seems too arrogant to say "something is happening" like there are really words for it all and I actually know the future or something.

But I think this is a positive post, if we're making judgments and placing labels.  Scary is awesome.