Day Thirteen - Social media detox observations

You notice that you still twitch and reach for a phone that is not even there (less and less but still happening)

You want to check updates on something, anything for no reason at all (also decreasing and adding something productive to replace the tick such as read book or draw picture or smile at stranger or clean dishes)

You notice how FOMO gradually diminishes and more and more you just enjoy the company of yourself

You feel relieved to not have constant interruption each time someone double clicks your photo notification after notification flight deals discounts something available someone just posted something latest news you should do this now are you aware of this other thing so much of everything all the time scandal scandal scandal that when your friend reaches out you are already a code red

You don't know what to do with yourself actually -- in moments of intensity, silence, waiting, pause -- and that starts to become interesting

You crave deep silence and so much of our surroundings seem too loud and kind of annoying and so obviously marketing

You realize how much you complained and gossiped and didn't even know you were and now whenever you say anything even vaguely negative about anything you are intensely aware of it

The same goes for the opposite.  Manic highs are exhausting.  You decide you'd rather be respected than liked.

You notice that you are actually reading and saying "hi" to neighbors and looking people in the eye

You are completing projects and learning to articulate your feelings and exploring this idea of boundaries and what you actually need to feel in balance each day

You are realizing that you too are a human and just like everyone else, you too are entitled to your own spectrum of feelings and viewpoints and boundaries and tastes and priorities.  

You start taking everything a whole lot less personally when it isn't personal and save the fire for things that actually do need that warrior spirit

You are less reactive

In fact, you seem to notice how high strung so much of our lives are and how unnecessary it is

You notice how many books and articles you actually read now and remember what you just read instead of needing to read a passage multiple times in order to retain any information

You start to notice everyone else more or maybe just in a different way

You start to feel that there is more and more time for everything in life but first you desperately need to heal