What does it all mean?

As I watch videos on youtube (my cyber shala or morning inspiration, if you will), I remember last night's dream. I was with a friend. A girl, I think. We were playing maybe a card game or something trivial in a room with a bunch of tables. I think we were playing and slowly Pattabhi Jois (Guruji) started to notice us and play a bit. Last few times I saw him, he was very old, very out there, and not likely to randomly start fraternizing with me. I guess in the dream, our playing interested him and sort of brought him out of the stroke-funk. He started getting younger- like the Guruji of myth. I really wanted him to be my teacher and tell me that if I cried, he would cry (like Nicky Doane's story). There was a feeling of connection, and then I woke up.

Maybe a week ago I dreamt I was sitting at a communal picnic table with a bunch of friends including one who was killed (in real life) much too young. I was confused because she was supposed to be dead, but here she was -- alive.

Not sure if they are connected outside of the table and resurrection thing.

Except that they were both smiling a lot and trying to talk with me.

And the warm fuzzy feeling of peace and joy surrounding them.

Junk drawer post

Think so you can learn how to stop thinking.  This yoga stuff is funny.  Between all the thinking about my relationships to people and things and philosophy with Guy and everything I was thinking so much about the sound of white noise that the thinking became white noise and then I wasn't thinking because I was thinking and I crossed my legs by myself in karandavasana--and I held myself there...away from the wall!  The thing is, I didn't really notice until after practice.  

This is my favorite time of year in New York.  It is just so...optimistic.  Baby birds try flying prematurely, fall to the pavement, and then get crushed under shoes.  One moment you smell blossoms on your way down the sidewalk and the next moment it is hot pee.  The weather is beautiful and flesh is exposed for the first time (its a scary white/green/grey color).  The catcalling is back and starts out sweet ("god bless you, princess") and sometimes ends up sour ("you got me so hard--come back baby").

And now the dream sequence:

I had this dream last night featuring Sherri Shephard, Oprah Winfrey, and someone else whom I can't recall at 

the moment (let's just say it was Diane Keaton).  They were drunk in the basement lounge of a Staples.  I was very disappointed with Sherri because Oprah is a bad influence on her.  She put on a bunch of weight, and all three of them were behaving ridiculously, their clothes were falling off, just melting

 off them from the drunkenness.  Then my Mom showed up and poked Sherri, asking her why she let herself get to this point.  And then of course, in come Lucy Liu in Kill Bill and she's threatening to chop heads off if anyone mentions she is part Chinese and American (not just Japanese).  

Hey Adam, how's that for a bit of self absorption and inexpensive therapy?  :)  I think you're right.  Sometimes it is hard to see it, but  "I don't know how, but some way, it always works out in the end".

PS- Congratulations on solo handstand sans wall!  Knew you could do it!

Flying dreams

News from Mysore:

It is official. A new heir to the ashtanga throne has been born! Today after the opening mantra, Saraswati announced that Sharath is the proud father of a baby boy!

On to the blog:

We often forget our dreams. The dreams that we remember sometimes stick with us, especially those where we are flying. I've read that dreams of flying are categorized as "lucid dreams", which are dreams where the dreamer is aware that they are dreaming. We are aware that we are doing the impossible, we are soaring through the sky, or hovering over the earth, or gliding above the ocean. When we are flying, everything is possible. These dreams are often described as carrying a feeling of freedom and joy.

Lying in bed after class, I was taking an extended savasana (rest). I stared from underneath the blanket, up into space. I was daydreaming of birds. (Maybe the sound of the early morning tweeting and squawking planted some images.) I dreamt of trees towering above the ground with warm nests filled with the anxious, flapping wings of baby birds ready to figure out what they were made for. The mother bird pushes them out one at a time. There is no lesson, just a push, and the confidence that the little creature will be able to figure it out. Yes, there is technique involved, but really, the point is just to stay in the air, the point is to fly and it doesn't matter how the little creature does it, so much as he or she does.

I saw Rachel standing up from urdhva dhanurasana today. She did it for the first time yesterday. I watched as she negotiated the weight distribution between her hands and feet. I watched as she inched her way to the very edge. For a second, I thought she would give up even though she was so close. I wanted to shout across the room, "go for it! you got it!" And then, all the hesitation washed away and she stood up, just like that.

What I love about ashtanga (and what a lot of people don't like) is that it is so much about just doing it. Just stand up. Just lift up. Just jump back. Just fold. Just...fly. Over time, as you soar, you figure out that you can twirl and dive and spin and a million other things once you conquer everything that tells you "no" and you are doing it--you are flying. It is like constantly looking into your own face as a child when you figured out how to do something. Little you gazes warmly up at current you and exclaims, "I did it!" Maybe, big you can do the same thing. Sometimes in practice, we are all like happy little children shouting, "I did it!" As I write this, I can honestly say that I'm smiling because it is so simple and because this little drop of happiness is such a gift.

I've found myself in a few conversations recently about how people wish they were birds, and in particular, eagles.

Sometimes in flying dreams, we feel like we are beginning to lose altitude or that we will crash into something. This happens to me when I realize not that I'm flying, but that actually, I can't usually do this in real life. For me, its the "possibility" or lack there of that I cling to and allow to weigh me down all the way to the ground.

I want to remember a dream in the back of my mind where I begin to lose altitude but then, I do the impossible and I "pick it up!" "Pick it up" just happens to sound familiar because that is what Saraswati and Sharath will tell you and those around you who begin to lose altitude in flying poses such as headstand or uthplutih. Today I had the feeling that Saraswati was pushing all of us out of the nest and now it is up to us to fly.

Daniel Johnston

Worried Shoes - Yip / Jump Music (1983)

I took my lucky break and I broke it in two

Put on my worried shoes

My worried shoes

And my shoes took me so many miles and they never wore out
My worried shoes
I made a mistake and I never forgot
I tied knots in the laces of
My worried shoes
And with every step that I'd take I'd remember my mistake

As I marched further and further away
In my worried shoes

My worried shoes

And my shoes took me down a crooked path

Away from all welcome mats

My worried shoes

And then one day I looked around and I found the sun shining down

And I took off my worried shoes

And the feet broke free

I didn't need to wear

Then I knew the difference between worrying and caring

'Cause I've got a lot of walking to do

And I don't want to wear

My worried shoes

Links to dream dictionaries (when is the last time you tried to analyse a dream?):

http://www.mysticalblaze.com/DreamsFlying.htm

http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/

http://www.dreamdoctor.com/dictionary/