Weekend Edition # 12: Injury Inspiration

Life happens.  Relationship troubles, financial troubles, work troubles, the weather, illness, digestion troubles, injuries...  In yoga, all these things and more are summed up as the "three miseries" or  "three obstacles".  They are:

adhyātmika --miseries of body and mind
adhibhautika --miseries from other living creatures
adhidaivika --miseries from natural/supernatural disturbances

These names are old and the miseries timeless.  They will always come to us and they always have.  If we wait to practice until the obstacles stop, then we will probably never practice.  It is easy to do some asanas when we feel nice and there is a nice view and the teacher is nice and there was no traffic and we get the spot we like and everything is going well.  We should definitely be grateful and notice when we have it easy.  But often it is when things are not going well, when things are very hard or seem impossible when the true meaning of yoga is there for us to realize.  It is then when we have the opportunity to really practice and to rise to the occasion.

Eventually, practice becomes the baseline, the steady beat of our lives.  Before that, each time an obstacle arises, we ask ourselves "should I practice if...?"  It is in this moment when we begin to explore our intentions and the meaning of the practice.  This is the moment when a lot of people - confusing yoga with the mere performance of asanas - quit.  This is also the moment when others start to question their motivations and show up anyway.

To anyone who has ever shown up anyway, started from the ground up, or who has fallen to rock bottom from the highest cliff knows the feeling.  The infinite sorrow, the despair, the irrational impossibility... and then when we are patient just a few moments later, the warmth of humility and the curious strength of complete surrender.  It is the relief of having nothing to prove, no expectations, and nothing but the here and now.  All of a sudden it all comes together - the showing up, the exploration of what the asana practice is really asking, the patience of being sensitive and receptive - and it starts to seep into every other part of our lives.  We start to make connections between all of our actions throughout the day and the world around us.  The definition of asana as a "steady and sweet seat" becomes the establishment of a constant steady and sweet connection with the earth. We start to realize that we can always practice and that the effort toward steadiness of mind is what we have been cultivating all along.

In times of injury or bodily obstacle, our asana practice may change, but it is important to remember that there are 7 other limbs of Ashtanga yoga that can be practiced all the time.  But this post is about injuries and here are some sources of inspiration if you are finding yourself grappling with bodily obstacles:


"Breathing the practice" by Jangalikayamane
"Healing injuries with Ashtanga Yoga" by Paul Mitchell Gold

One final note:  everything is relative.  An emotional blow feels 100% as devastating to the person experiencing it as a broken arm feels to the person experiencing the broken arm.  Just show up.  Identify with the true nature of the self.  Let go of the asanas.  Make showing up to practice about others and something larger than yourself (Ishvarapranidhana).  Showing up anyway is a chance to add to the group energy, to inspire others who are also having a tough time.  It is a chance to be grateful and for tapas... for it often takes some serious obstacles for us to open to the possibility of yoga.

The Yoga Comics - Moon Day

My story and our Shala transformed into this cute comic about moon days by Boonchu Tanti of The Yoga Comics.  Tomorrow is a moon day, no classes.  Take rest!

Breathing, emotions, and back pain

Leslie Kaminoff talks a bit on the connection between breathing, emotions, and back pain.

Healing Injuries with Ashtanga Yoga by Paul Mitchell Gold

Authorized Ashtanga yoga teacher Paul Mitchell Gold of the Ashtanga Yoga Shala, Toronto writes on the healing power of a daily Mysore practice and how to work with injuries.  (See also "Should I Practice If...?")

Healing Injuries with Ashtanga Yoga
Originally published September 22, 2012, Ashtanga Yoga and other things
Republished with permission 

Yoga practice is not an exercise class and it’s not a workout. Sure, it’s vigorous and physically challenging, but that’s just the means rather than the end. However, as with any physical endeavour, aches and pains are unavoidable and injuries can happen.

If one gets injured practicing yoga, the yoga practice is the best way to heal and rehabilitate. Also, if one gets injured doing some other activity, yoga practice is the best way to heal and rehabilitate. Finally, if one begins yoga practice with a preexisting injury, the yoga practice is the best way to heal and rehabilitate. From my experience, yoga practice is an amazing healer.

Healing an injury with Ashtanga Yoga is possible and requires daily practice. Taking days off regardless of how one’s feeling is ultimately detrimental to the healing process. Unlike working out, the effects of yoga practice are cumulative. The body’s natural reaction to injury is to contract and armour. Yoga encourages the afflicted area to move when it wants to petrify. Taking days off between practices just makes the body stiffer under normal circumstances, but even more so with an injury or chronic condition.

Students often wait until their aches and pains are gone before returning to class. They’ll disappear and return saying they needed to rest their injury. The truth, however, is that the pain is not gone and the injury hasn’t healed. The problem simply went underground while they were resting and was patiently waiting to return. Whatever imbalance or bad habit caused the pain or injury hasn’t been addressed or corrected. The pains and injury return as soon as the student is back on the mat.

It is a shame that some students who aren’t willing to follow the prescription for daily practice end up quitting and saying that “ashtanga yoga doesn’t work” or “yoga made my pain worse.” This just isn’t true.

The first thing a student must do when using the practice to heal and rehabilitate is adapt. It is necessary when injured to scale back practice so that it’s appropriate as therapy. That very often means having a very basic and short practice for awhile where the level of sensation to the injured area is deliberately kept at zero.

Both Rachelle and I have had pain and injuries over the years and we both used ashtanga yoga as a means of healing ourselves. Some days, I would do only a few slow and difficult sun salutations before needing to stop. It had it’s moments of frustration and I often felt impatient and frankly pissed off. It wasn’t much fun, but I slowly healed and was back to 100% over time.

So, first off, a student needs to adjust practice to reflect the injury or pains being experienced. There’s no reason to power through or ignore the problem. In the case of an injury caused by bad habits or poor breathing, taking things slowly and scaling back helps to pinpoint where there’s a problem and re-learn how to practice correctly without causing chronic pain. One of the added bonuses of using practice to heal an injury is that we find practice is stronger once we’ve healed.

In the case of a student who starts ashtanga yoga to heal a pre-existing injury, the best advice I can give is to look at practice as medicine and follow the prescription.

If I were to develop a chest infection and went to a doctor, I would likely be prescribed antibiotics to treat the infection with instructions to take three pills every day for a week. If I follow the prescription, I will no longer have my chest infection However, if I do NOT follow the prescription and I take the medicine every few days or only once per day, I really shouldn’t be surprised if my problem hasn’t been cured.

Practice daily. Do what you can. Don’t push. Maintain zero sensation in the injured area. Be patient and have faith. Talk to your teacher when you’re frustrated. This is the prescription to heal injuries using ashtanga yoga. Students who follow this prescription heal their injuries and rehabilitate chronic problems. They transform their bodies and blow their minds in the process.

About Paul
I took my first yoga classes in 1995 and became a dedicated practitioner of Ashtanga Yoga after a short period of experimenting.

From 1998 to 2001, I studied with Noah Williams and Kimberly Flynn and taught at their yoga school in Los Angeles. I also want to thank Jorgen Christiansson, an early teacher and good friend, who first taught me to trust this practice.

In 2001, Rachelle and I made our first trip to Mysore, India. Since, we have returned annually to continue our studies with Guruji and Sharath.

I received authorization to teach the Ashtanga method in 2004 and was a member of the first group to receive Level 2 Authorization in July 2009. I have the blessing of KPJAYI to teach students the full Primary and Intermediate Series of Ashtanga Yoga. 

Dedication to daily practice is the cornerstone of my teaching philosophy. I encourage my students to develop the virtues of patience, faith, diligence, compassion and non-attachment using the integrity and genius of the traditional Ashtanga system. As these virtues are cultivated over time, students are well on the way to living fuller, happier and more balanced lives.  More

FAQs via The Yoga Shala

An extensive list of FAQs by Authorized teacher Krista Shirley of The Yoga Shala.  Really worth a peek.


Some questions include:

What is Mysore-style Ashtanga Yoga?
What about pre-existing pain and old injuries?
Why do I need a teacher?
Should I commit to one discipline?
I learned Ashtanga differently. Am I supposed to change what I’ve been doing?
Why am I being “stopped” in my practice?

The list of faqs:
Frequently Asked Questions

{Moon Day} Tuesday, June 19 New Moon

Next Moon Day: Tuesday, June 19, 2012
No classes, take rest!
Full list of 2012 Moon Days

Why?

From Shri K. Pattabhi Jois via the Ashtanga Yoga Shala:

"That day is very difficult day. Two stars one place (conjunction) is going. New moon also, full moon also. That day very dangerous day. You (take) practice (on that day), anyone can have a small pain starting. That pain is not going very quickly. Long time he is taking. Some broken possible. That is why that day don’t do." continue reading

Video: Difficulties in practice - Kino MacGregor

Castor Oil Bath

Originally published October 2008 in www.livingmysore.com:

Relieve aches, pains and stiffness with oil baths
By Kimberly Flynn Williams

Oil bath is a traditional, weekly Ayurvedic home remedy still practiced widely in South India. Shri K. Pattabhi Jois routinely recommends oil bath to his yoga students especially for the relief of back and knee pain as well as stiffness. Weekly oil bath reduces excess internal heat (pitta in Ayurveda) particularly in the joints, liver, and skin. This heat is generated by poor lifestyle, including consumption of oily, processed, and difficult to digest foods, alcohol and tobacco, in addition to stress, air pollution and inadequate sleep. This imbalance increases with the heat generated by yoga practice and hot climate. Eating an over-sufficiency of healthy foods that are deemed "heating" in Ayurvedic terms, also adds to this imbalance.

Excess heat can be felt in the joints as pain and stiffness and in the back, often in the lower right-hand side and hip, as a nearly debilitating pain. This heat also contributes to a short temper, burning anger, red skin, pinkish acne, and redness in the eyes. When a daily ashtanga yoga practitioner still carries extra weight, especially around the middle, has difficulty with weight loss or with digestion, and has a regularly sluggish bowel, these are all signs of surplus heat.

In India, oil bath is customarily taken with castor oil that is later removed from the skin and hair with a special herbal paste made of equal parts soap nut and green powders mixed with water. Castor oil delivers the best results, but is nearly impossible to remove without these powders. Guruji suggests that, after leaving India, the yoga student can replace castor oil with almond oil, which easily washes off with bath soap.

Continue reading full article at Living Mysore...






Since 1995, Kimberly Flynn Williams has traveled yearly to Mysore, India to study Ashtanga Yoga with Shri K. Pattabhi Jois and his family at the Ashtanga Yoga Research Institute. She began her studies with Pattabhi Jois in 1993 during his teaching visit to New York City. Inspired by Pattabhi Jois's vast knowledge of Yoga Shastra, she has been a student of Sanskrit Recitation, Yoga Sutras, and Philosophy under Dr. M.A. Jayashree since 1998. Kimberly co-directed and co-founded Ashtanga Yoga Shala in Los Angeles where she taught for 10 years and twice hosted Pattabhi Jois. Kimberly, AYRI Authorized, teaches Ashtanga Yoga and Sutra Chanting in Hawaii, throughout the United States, and Internationally. She began yoga practice in 1982.

Moon Day Theory #3 {Shri K. Pattabhi Jois}

Next Moon Day: Friday, May 14, 2010.

From Shri K. Pattabhi Jois at the Ashtanga Yoga Shala:

"That day is very difficult day. Two stars one place (conjunction) is going. New moon also, full moon also. That day very dangerous day. You (take) practice (on that day), anyone can have a small pain starting. That pain is not going very quickly. Long time he is taking. Some broken possible. That is why that day don’t do." read on

What day is this?

Shattered-- that's how I feel. I somehow made it to the dressing room to do my finishing poses. I slapped down my mat and reclined. My eyes open, my eyes closed, the room spinning. I wonder if this is how a broken piece of glass feels. It is the same thing, only now in a different form. My back is split open like a nut shell like a orange peel, like a pomegranate, like an exoskeleton. Yes, that's it, I feel like a lobster. The room is still spinning. What happened in there?

Some people say that the pain will come and go. Some say that it will increase over time. Some that it will decrease. This pain is an indication of change. I'm changing. Growing pains. But is this really pain? It feels more like a train stopping abruptly. Or like when the ocean pulls you under. Or a deck of cards being shuffled. I'm not in pain, I'm just overwhelmed, I'm just trying really hard, I'm really just changing. There are no words for any of it, just confusion and experience and then already almost a month has past and I don't know what exactly I have been doing this whole time. I know time is passing because tomorrow is supta vajrasana.

Ashtanga for life?

The long, drawn out, musings blog. But hey, it's a Sunday!

Is ashtanga really a life-long practice? Does it actually make people healthier? Why does it seem that everyone gets injured at some point, and how many long-term practitioners are still practicing ashtanga yoga as taught in Mysore?

Okay Jason, this one is for you.

Ashtanga yoga is "advertised" as a life-long practice. Let us first consider exactly what constitutes as the life-long practice. The Yoga Sutras say that "practice" does not refer only to asana, but to the "effort toward steadiness of mind". So although I might say that I'm going to "do my practice", I am probably referring to "doing my asana practice". Asana (poses) are only one segment of the complete ashtanga yoga system, so really, I am always trying to practice an effort toward steadiness of mind. I don't go into "yoga mode" for one hour and a half while I throw myself around on a cotton rug and then go outside to yell obscenities at each asshole who crosses my path. And what if I broke my arm? What would I do then?

But if it isn't about the asanas, then how about that quote that people love: "99% practice 1% theory"? What does this really mean? 99% doing vinyasas, 1% reading philosophy? 99% muscle, 1% brain? I think it's more like 99% moving toward stillness, 1% gathering more information on how to do that. (Although one could even argue that "gathering" is effort as well. I think the real point here is that one has to actually be actively DOING this stuff rather than just sitting around thinking about how maybe one day it will come knocking on the front door.)

So if our definition of practice includes much more than asana, then it is easy to imagine people practicing well into their nineties. Might Guruji be practicing asana right now in Mysore had he not gone through his tragic loss of a son? Who can say? Would Krishnamacharya have him doing asana to help his health problems? Maybe. We see many photos and videos of Krishnamacharya practicing asana and pranayama into very old age. But for whatever reason, as far as I know, Guruji does not currently practice asana. What his daily practice consists of I cannot say. Ask him when you're in Mysore...

Does ashtanga make people healthier? If we talk only about the asanas, we find that each asana has therapeutic benefits for the body and mind from helping to remove "bad fat" to massaging the liver to aiding constipation or urinary tract problems. The vinyasa method and ujjayi pranayama each have benefits as well. Additionally, the lifestyle surrounding ashtanga yoga asana practice and ashtanga yoga practice in general promotes healthy life choices. However, like anything else in life, it is about balance, and with a little bit of effort, we can easily overdo it.

The more I think about it, the more it becomes obvious that this system is only harmful if we make it that way and we tend to make it that way when we get really involved with the ego. For example, why would someone carry on an unhealthy form of extreme dieting unless they felt that it would make their practice better? (I want to "get" karandavasana so I'm doing macrobiotic fast number 7.) Isn't it possible to make gradual changes that are healthy or even to be patient and not obsess about progress? When does effort toward stillness become unhealthy or even dangerous?

So is ashtanga yoga a yoga of injuries and pain? We can break pain and injuries associated with ashtanga yoga into a few different categories. The first type of pain is associated with an injury that was already an injury before the asana and as we push ourselves into something (because we feel we have to accomplish it) the pain of the preexisting injury doesn't go away. The second kind of pain comes when we go deeper into something and discover a misalignment that was already there and as we work through it (because we want to perfect the asana) it causes us pain. The third kind of pain happens when we push hard to get into an asana and get injured because we weren't doing it properly or weren't prepared to practice it. The fourth kind of pain comes from faking the ability to practice a posture and getting injured when a teacher calls the bluff and adjusts us deeper or allows us to continue with what we are doing.

(This argument is tricky because on the one hand, without the fire of the ego that wants to find the stillness, we would be lying on our mats doing nothing, but on the other hand, blindly following the ego into uncharted territory and trusting the drive to be the best can lead us straight off a cliff.)

But maybe it is literally supposed to be a 6 day a week asana practice. Do all the old school luminaries still practice? If the previous discussion of pain and injuries holds true, then the only way to be able to sustain is to pull back and practice with humility and patience--which probably none of us really does. But we're trying though :)

The point? I think we just don't get it yet. As much as we say it, we can't figure out how to practice without thinking about the asanas. A trip to Mysore doesn't help. You'll hear me singing the "it's not about the poses" mantra soon, but even so, I think that students get injured in Mysore because they are pushing hard to get poses. It is what it is.

No one is forcing anyone to do anything. No one tells you that you have to do something if you don't want to. There are smart ways to work with and through pain and injury and there are really stupid ways to do it too. The question is not whether ashtanga yoga is a lifelong practice but whether or not we are up to the challenge.

Ashtanga Anarchists

In high school I had a mild crush on Gene Wilder.  I think it was maybe because it was not what people expected and because I wanted to laugh.  Danny Paradise reminds me of Gene.  The whole evening I had this thought in the back of my head that maybe he would honor a golden ticket.  Maybe not.

I walked in late.  Actually, I was right on time, but Danny was so enthusiastic about sharing his knowledge that he got out there in front of the class as soon as he could and started talking.  Learning yoga isn't like, "ok, get ready, here we go."  Instead, it is a lifestyle, it is spontaneous, and you learn the most when you don't see it coming.  I wonder what I missed.

As I sat down, he was answering ashtanga "user" questions about anything and everything.  We took a short break and then talked some more, learned nauli kriya, laughed, and then began practice.  In addition to the "traditional" ashtanga sequencing, he showed us variations and asanas that used to be taught back in the day.  He laughed as he explained how teachers who have been teaching less than ten years will tell you that there is only one way, but let's ask them if they are still practicing like that in thirty years...

Some notes:

*disclaimer:  below are my personal notes and are to be read as such.  I've done my best, but I apologize if I've misinterpreted anything.  

Like David Williams, Danny says that yoga lasts about 24 hours and then you need to do it again.  Even if it is just for 15 minutes.

Minimum yoga practice as taught to him way back when:

Nauli, 3 Surya A's, 3 Surya B's, the last 3 finishing postures

However, he really emphasized that one must make the time for yoga because you have to take care of yourself.  So, "if your work doesn't allow it, change your job."

Yoga is about awareness.  We have to take responsibility for our actions and responsibility for the state of the world.  We are the ones who must find solutions.

The first ten years of practice are undoing all the damage you've done up until then.  After that, its healing the day before.

3 Common misconceptions about yoga:

1.  Guru Worship.  It is about the practice!  You don't need to go to a teacher all the time.  The sequences were made for you to be taught (by a teacher) and then practice on your own, returning to your teacher when you are ready to learn more.

2.  Pushing.  The best teachers do not push.  They understand that the body is transformed slowly and steadily.

3.  Vegetarianism.  It isn't required, but it will make your practice lighter and just plain better.  Plus, meat is icky.

Danny practices on the wood floor, with a cotton rug, or a "travel mat" that looks like a sheet of packing plastic.

The original yogis were anarchists, not fundamentalists.  Get off the wheel of life and increase awareness.

Yoga injuries:

1.  Often caused by greed and inattention

2.  Do what is appropriate on any given day and recognize your limitations as the body is always changing

3.  The key is no pain in practice

healing = heat + oxygen

Please see yesterday's post for a clip from Danny's workshop at OM Factory NYC.

Let's finish with some yoga porn, shall we?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abBwccUCFEU


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7img8taGWY

there is the best comment on youtube for this video. it says, "i would hinder this woman's flexibility in yoga via impregnation". Really, it says that.

David Williams New York Ashtanga Yoga Workshop*

"You are enlightened until you think that you aren't."
-David Williams

(Photo from David's website http://www.ashtangayogi.com/)

Last night I attended the first night of David Williams' workshop entitled, "Ashtanga Yoga for the rest of your life" at Yoga Sutra NYC.

As people scrambled for floor space and David climbed up on to the makeshift stage/altar/podium, he overheard someone in the crowd mentioning chakrasana. "Did I hear chakrasana?" he asks. As he shifts the pillow behind him, he says under his breath with a smile (just loud enough for everyone to hear) that he wouldn't be teaching chakrasana or setubandhasana this weekend because he "doesn't want to take the chance of even one person getting injured". He emphasizes that when he was taught these asanas, he was personally and individually watched by Guruji (imagine!) who having seen him practice for some time, thought these would be safe. (As many of us have seen in classes, many people do these moves wrong and occasionally badly injure their necks.) He then adds that he felt that it would be irresponsible for him to have a group of 60 people of all ages and all conditions, most of whom he has never seen practice before, try this. And this is what the workshop is all about--doing yoga for the rest of your life. He jokes, "I'm 58 years old and hoping to live to 108...We are all just one injury away from ending our yoga." So, David asks, if yoga helps us live happy, long lives, then why would we want to get injured if that will prevent and discourage us from practicing?

I was surprised by how open, candid, direct, specific, and humorous David was. He was a far cry from the "conservative ashtangi" stereotype, but at the same time, has been a daily practitioner of ashtanga yoga and has stayed true to Guruji's original teachings. This got me thinking about why we are practicing and why ashtanga has at times such an ill-fitting reputation...

Below, please find some of my notes from last night. I've done my best to be as accurate as possible. (This info was updated on 3/10/8.)

"When people say I'm disciplined [to have been practicing every day for decades], I think about how as a kid you are disciplined when you are bad. I practice because I am fascinated."

The Notes
1. On pain & "openings":
Pain
David explains that there is no benefit in hurting yourself and that "if it hurts you are doing it wrong."
"Hurting yourself more won't make you hurt less."

Openings
"Openings" are injuries and are to be avoided.
"I hope you don't have any more openings," he says.
"The average person over 30 who practices daily will get about 80% as stretched out as they are going to get within about two years of practice. Stretching should be slow and gradual to prevent tears. One doesn't just keep getting looser and looser forever."

2. On what yoga is:
"I want everything to increase my prana."
The purpose of yoga is to increase prana which is the energy, vitality, and immunity.
Nothing decreases prana more than injury.
"The form of a pose does not increase prana, only correct breathing, mulhabandha and one pointed concentratrion do."
"Ankle grabbing doesn't lead to enlightenment."
"Yoga is consciousness, awareness, and sensitivity, not just putting your leg behind your head."
Yoga is about increasing prana (imunities to dis-ease) and feeling good.

3. On daily practice (even if you are sick):
There is a 24 hour expiration on the benefits of yoga, meaning that you have to do it everyday.
If you are sick, its good to move, even just a little, that, and to swim in the ocean. (Does the East River count?)
Instead of doing one long practice, you should do a few small ones.
If injured or hurt, it is also important to keep moving, unless of course, something brings pain.

4. On Mulhabandha:
"Don't be confused by that other book," I think he is referring to "Moola Bandha, the Master Key". He says that you just have to contract your anus and ladies, also your vagina. That's it. "This is the whole practice." He explained how to find mulahbandha by putting one hand on the belly and one on the sternum. Take a few breaths here feeling the breath in the body and not doing any bandhas. Then, contract your anus and vagina (if you've got one) and breathe. Notice that the low belly is firm. Re-establish the bandha on exhales. This is what you should do during the whole practice. He also said that people who have what looks like big guts are often just stretching out their belly muscles during practice and aren't applying the bandhas properly.

Still digesting the info from last night, but thought I should share some notes in the meantime.

To read more on David Williams (he is fascinating) please check the following links:

David's website http://www.ashtangayogi.com/ is an excellent resource. In it you can find his biography, info on ashtanga, his teaching schedule, etc. But you will also find articles, a q&a forum, and pictures of the entire system of ashtanga yoga as taught to him by Guruji. For those of you in Ontario, be sure to check him out! March 13 - 16 at Orleans Yoga Shala http://www.oys.ca/.

Guy Donahaye at Ashtanga Yoga Sangha has revamped the original Ashtanga Yoga Shala website to include a forum, videos (of the old shala, very cool!), and interviews with notable members of the ashtanga community. His interview of David Williams is one of many that he has conducted as part of his upcoming film project...
http://aysnyc.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=97&Itemid=160

"While you are doing your yoga, try to be a yogi."

*Edited on 3/10/8 with the help of none other than David Williams. Thanks!
Edited on 3/11/8.

Pain, The Anatomy of

The ceiling was white. A fluorescent light glowed eerily. Rain pummeled the window and the terrace outside.

"AH! Ha ha ha ha... Oh my god!" I yelped giddily. I stared up at the ceiling and then into the eyes of a young Indian woman wielding a rectangular piece of paper.

"Pain." She nodded with a smile. I turned to look at the other woman.

"Hair very thick, much pain..." She agreed with a look that said she felt for me...maybe.

"OOOHHH!" I stared back to the fluorescent light. "Much pain." With each rip, I floated up to the light, up to the ceiling, and then back down again for the radiating pain of the next clump of hair to be ripped out without remorse.

Pain. Two women simultaneously ripping hair from your body is a good time to meditate on the subject. I was getting a bikini and full leg wax. With each rip, I explored what it meant to feel pain. It started with the knowledge that the pain was coming. Then the tension before the rip. Then you feel the hair being pulled from the roots with one quick (or slow, tedious) yank. The skin flies back. The sensation begins. The women slap the area. More hot wax overlaps and burns the last area they waxed. And then again. And again. And again.

No matter where the pain is happening, it manifests to a few different areas. A dull ache in the shoulders. A searing behind the ears. A pressure in the jaw, wedged under the tongue. I keep asking myself "does this really hurt?" And finally, "come on relax! No one has ever died from a bikini wax..."

According to Wikipedia:

"Pain is an unpleasant sensation. It is defined by the International Association for the Study of Pain (IASP) as “an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage, or described in terms of such damage”. Nociception (sometimes also called nociperception) is a measurable physiological event of a type usually associated with pain. Scientifically, pain (a subjective experience) is separate and distinct from nociception, the system which carries information about inflammation, damage or near-damage in tissue, to the spinal cord and brain. Nociception frequently occurs without pain being felt and can convey information without conscious awareness. Conversely, but less frequently, a sensation of pain can exist in the absence of nociception. Pain is part of the body's defense system: it triggers mental problem-solving strategies that seek to end the painful experience, and it promotes learning, making repetition of the painful situation less likely. The nociceptive system transmits signals that usually trigger the sensation of pain, it is a critical component of the body's ability to react to damaging stimuli and it is part of a rapid-warning relay instructing the central nervous system to initiate reactions for minimizing injury."

In A Long Way to the Floor, the author tells a story of how our "fight or flight" instinct comes into play during practice. Something brings us "pain" and then we begin to breathe fast, our bodies tense, and we squirm to get out of the pose as quickly as possible. But when we can relax, the pose is like a warm bath.

But what is pain? As I lied there, I could decide what to do with the sensation. Fight, or flight? I had to choose "neither". I had to find a way to step out of the instinct. I was paying these women to do this to me. I had to relax. I wouldn't die. But what is pain?

The ceiling was white. The florescent light was...fluorescent. The pain had a color. Down from bellow the navel, the pain had a long way to travel up my brain. Was the color I just felt purple with silver? Was it green with pale pink? My body and mind were lost in a boat in the ocean.

If this excruciating pain was something that I was willing to sit through, why did I panic in situations that didn't bring the same kind of pain? Like in back bends or hamstring stretches? My house mate and I talked about this for a while. She said pain is something that you are taught how to handle as a child. When something happens to you, you react to how your parents teach you to react. When you fall, you don't scream until a few seconds after the fact. As a child, you waited until your parents screamed, "OOOOhhhh!" and then you opened your mouth and yelled. Or, they smiled at you and said, "you're okay!" and you nodded and said, "I'm okay."

According to the Mayo Clinic's website,

"how you interpret pain messages and tolerate pain can be affected by your:
Emotional and psychological state
Memories of past pain experiences
Upbringing
Attitude
Expectations
Beliefs and values
Age
Sex
Social and cultural influences"

We're dealing with a lot of pain here as students in Mysore. There is the physical pain from asanas, sore muscles, injuries, or stomach problems. There is also the emotional pain from missing family, friends, or significant others. The pain of being lonely.

Pain isn't just one sensation. It has many different feels, from a dull pulse, to a cold sliding sensation. In practice, what pain should we stay with, what pain should we shy away from? In uthplutih, I was in so much "pain" that I was convinced I could not stay up more than 10 breaths. Now, I've realized that it is actually being really uncomfortable with working hard that kept me giving up.

Other times, the "pain" is debilitating. A while back, I went to drop back, and I could feel a small rock stuck in my back. All the muscles seized. I couldn't move. I couldn't move. But even this pain wasn't so much a "hurt" as it was paralyzing. But it was so paralyzing that I felt it intensely in everything I did for a month.

The job was three quarters done when I said, "okay, its good...Next time we finish." Did it hurt too much. No. But I think my brain had had enough of trying to relax into the pain. I had no more energy left with which to do it. One of the women leaves to get more strips. The other continues with the one she has left. As she waits for the wax to cool on my leg, she looks at me and says, "Today is festival. You are my puja!" We both laugh, and she rips the strip taking hundreds of hair from the outside of my calf with it.

They had finished the waxing. I lookeed down the runway to see to women threading the tiny stray hairs using thread between their fingers and teeth. "Madam, " they motioned down. "Is okay?"