Trouble Sleeping & Intermediate Practice

Via: Mysore SF's Magnolia Zuniga 

Q.

Since I’ve started practicing intermediate series I’ve had trouble falling asleep. I also wake up in the middle of the night and have a hard time falling back to sleep. Do you have any tips?

A:

The intermediate series is a stimulating and dynamic practice. It is not uncommon for students to experience many changes in their lives as the postures begin to weave themselves into the subtle body. Before we go into this, let’s look at the primary series and go from there...  continue reading at Mysore SF

How to disappear completely

Where to start? How about where it ends or where it is right now. Right now I have just consumed a delicious home cooked western-style dinner at Santosha which is a local Canadian-owned restaurant. (Yes, I do eat.) I'm using the internet at my new house which I have just helped to stock with stuff to make us all a bit happier--bowls, shower squeegees, laundry cords, etc. We're all hippie, live-off-the-land types that appreciate a good granola and so have vowed to make an honest use of this kitchen. I'm listening to a mix of Indian music and political speeches coming in from outside. These sounds are all coming from the commotion around the various makeshift temples that have been built over the last week in honor of a very special Indian festival. Apparently, Mysore goes wild this week for the Hindu deities Ganesh and his mom Parvati.

A few weeks ago a friend told me why we see little elephants representing Ganesh on all the vehicles. "You see, Ganesh stickers and statuettes are there to remove obstacles". But I digress.

So everywhere this week are images of Ganesh in all sizes--from freakishly massive to teeny tiny. I've heard that many of them are made of materials that dissolve when submerged in liquid which is an answer to the baffled image I had in my mind of thousands of techni-colored elephants floating in various bodies of water around Mysore. (Part of the festival involves throwing Ganesh in the water.)

What else? Right now I am getting over a small cold (is it?) or maybe it is just a small case of back bending fever. Either way I'm tired and achy and irritable but this will pass. Just like the time. I've already been here for some time. I've already managed to not post for quite some time. It's funny how easily each day can pass into the other. Or how everyday I'm dancing on the line between avoiding myself and looking deeply into the mirror.

I'm practicing earlier and earlier and it is getting longer and longer and hopefully I'm getting stronger and stronger. Or something like that. After at least a month here you start to notice how everyone is doing the same stuff you just did. And after this second trip I'm seeing how I've forgotten how new things were last time around. And even as much as I thought I could slide back in, there is so much that is still shocking to bear. It is much like jumping into a body of cold water. I know it is water and I know it is fricking cold, but I don't really know how to dissolve until I'm up to my neck and dunking my head.

Yoga--The Ultimate Health Tonic?

I just finished reading this funny little book called Yoga, Youth, and Reincarnation by Jess Stern. The author spends some time studying yoga (and all things hippie and new age) in Concord with his teacher, Marcia. He goes from absolute neophyte to adept shoulderstander and believer in the magical benefits of yoga practice. Among the claims of relief from aches and pains, increased energy, change of appetite, reduced stress levels, etc. are claims that his teacher hasn't been sick in years because of the yoga. Yoga is so great. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda.

I must be doing something wrong because I have had a cough that sounds like I was brought home from a kennel last Sunday. I threw out our moldy shower curtain, dusted furniture, cleaned floors, turned off the AC, broke out the neti pot, and gargled salt water. When I'm sick or injured, I always think about how I don't appreciate feeling healthy when there is nothing wrong. I make a little vow to myself that I'll savor every moment, but usually, a day or two passes before I realize that I am not sneezing green boogers every two seconds.


Signed,

Mysore Musings--The Most Boring Blog in the World (cus it just don't go nowhere)

Practice when sick: before and after

Before:

I got a full night's rest, did the deed, took a shower, maybe some neti, definitely some chywanaprash even though it doesn't taste so good anymore now that I'm not accustomed to being immersed in Indian flavors.  All this before heading out to practice.  I'm feeling optimistic, but sore, fatigued, tired, and heavy.  Got to keep practice light, easy, and slow today (which is what I tell myself everyday).  Plus it looks like rain.  All this makes me feel like I'm going to be a soggy wet napkin on the floor trying to fold into origami...

After:

Two steps out the front door and I realized that I had remembered the neti (I did it while on the phone with Rachel...it takes a lot of skill not to get the phone wet) but had forgotten the chywanaprash.  Was I sleeping on my walk/subway ride/walk to the shala?  I don't remember putting one foot in front of the other.  I do remember how hot it was and how humid it felt just standing outside the classroom.   Armed with a wad of toilet paper, I stepped in, rolled out my mat, informed Guy I was still a little sick "you can just to primary" he saw my face "but I guess you did come all this way..."  exactly.  It would be slow, but it would be my practice. 

Every move was carefully placed and fragile.  I had a consistent feeling that this time I might break.  I fell into the breathing which, although deep and musical, was uncomfortable at the top of the inhale.  I could feel the tingle of being uncomfortable up my chest, collarbones, neck, until it rested and broke where my gums met my bottom front teeth.  Weird.  My low back ached.  

I didn't have to modify much.  Perhaps the jumps weren't as jumpy or floaty as when I'm feeling 100%, but they were proportional to what I had in me today.  I spent much less time than usual in finishing postures and laid down cringing with a slight headache and head rush by the end.  I rolled up my mat and picked up that now soaked wad of toilet paper and remembered that original prediction.  Yes, I didn't feel much different than the soggy toilet paper in my hand, but I did make some origami.  My body does feels much better now than before.  

Sick! -- The Summer Solstice

This was probably the reason for Friday's awkward practice and rough nap. I'm miserably sick. I couldn't really sleep. Awake/asleep it all feels the same. All I want to do is drive out to the Rockaways and jump into the ocean but the SO is still sleeping and grumbled to me at 6 am that he thought it wasn't the best idea for me. Maybe he is right. The water can be cold out there and the weather won't break 80 today and it is supposed to rain. But I keep going back to that David Williams workshop where he said that when you are sick you should practice a little then jump in the ocean and snort the salt water then go do some more yoga and then do it again. I imagine this hippie jungle man covered in leaved with a stick in his hair running out from the trees into the water and back again. I want that to be me. I want to be sun kissed and tropical with the taste and smell of salt water on my skin with sand collecting in the cuticles of my toenails.

Before the suffering began, yesterday I found myself marking the summer solstice in Times Square with hundreds of other people who were marveling at the notion of being fully reclined in the middle of the madness. I was one of the people walking through the downward dogs trying to explain to this beginner or that the subtleties of knees chest chin or how to straighten the leg in trikonasana. For a few minutes as I stood watching the class, the taxis, the lights, the people, the buildings, the chaos, I felt that warm little feeling that one gets when one connects with how very special this city can be. And I got a shwag bag.

photo link

David Williams New York Ashtanga Yoga Workshop*

"You are enlightened until you think that you aren't."
-David Williams

(Photo from David's website http://www.ashtangayogi.com/)

Last night I attended the first night of David Williams' workshop entitled, "Ashtanga Yoga for the rest of your life" at Yoga Sutra NYC.

As people scrambled for floor space and David climbed up on to the makeshift stage/altar/podium, he overheard someone in the crowd mentioning chakrasana. "Did I hear chakrasana?" he asks. As he shifts the pillow behind him, he says under his breath with a smile (just loud enough for everyone to hear) that he wouldn't be teaching chakrasana or setubandhasana this weekend because he "doesn't want to take the chance of even one person getting injured". He emphasizes that when he was taught these asanas, he was personally and individually watched by Guruji (imagine!) who having seen him practice for some time, thought these would be safe. (As many of us have seen in classes, many people do these moves wrong and occasionally badly injure their necks.) He then adds that he felt that it would be irresponsible for him to have a group of 60 people of all ages and all conditions, most of whom he has never seen practice before, try this. And this is what the workshop is all about--doing yoga for the rest of your life. He jokes, "I'm 58 years old and hoping to live to 108...We are all just one injury away from ending our yoga." So, David asks, if yoga helps us live happy, long lives, then why would we want to get injured if that will prevent and discourage us from practicing?

I was surprised by how open, candid, direct, specific, and humorous David was. He was a far cry from the "conservative ashtangi" stereotype, but at the same time, has been a daily practitioner of ashtanga yoga and has stayed true to Guruji's original teachings. This got me thinking about why we are practicing and why ashtanga has at times such an ill-fitting reputation...

Below, please find some of my notes from last night. I've done my best to be as accurate as possible. (This info was updated on 3/10/8.)

"When people say I'm disciplined [to have been practicing every day for decades], I think about how as a kid you are disciplined when you are bad. I practice because I am fascinated."

The Notes
1. On pain & "openings":
Pain
David explains that there is no benefit in hurting yourself and that "if it hurts you are doing it wrong."
"Hurting yourself more won't make you hurt less."

Openings
"Openings" are injuries and are to be avoided.
"I hope you don't have any more openings," he says.
"The average person over 30 who practices daily will get about 80% as stretched out as they are going to get within about two years of practice. Stretching should be slow and gradual to prevent tears. One doesn't just keep getting looser and looser forever."

2. On what yoga is:
"I want everything to increase my prana."
The purpose of yoga is to increase prana which is the energy, vitality, and immunity.
Nothing decreases prana more than injury.
"The form of a pose does not increase prana, only correct breathing, mulhabandha and one pointed concentratrion do."
"Ankle grabbing doesn't lead to enlightenment."
"Yoga is consciousness, awareness, and sensitivity, not just putting your leg behind your head."
Yoga is about increasing prana (imunities to dis-ease) and feeling good.

3. On daily practice (even if you are sick):
There is a 24 hour expiration on the benefits of yoga, meaning that you have to do it everyday.
If you are sick, its good to move, even just a little, that, and to swim in the ocean. (Does the East River count?)
Instead of doing one long practice, you should do a few small ones.
If injured or hurt, it is also important to keep moving, unless of course, something brings pain.

4. On Mulhabandha:
"Don't be confused by that other book," I think he is referring to "Moola Bandha, the Master Key". He says that you just have to contract your anus and ladies, also your vagina. That's it. "This is the whole practice." He explained how to find mulahbandha by putting one hand on the belly and one on the sternum. Take a few breaths here feeling the breath in the body and not doing any bandhas. Then, contract your anus and vagina (if you've got one) and breathe. Notice that the low belly is firm. Re-establish the bandha on exhales. This is what you should do during the whole practice. He also said that people who have what looks like big guts are often just stretching out their belly muscles during practice and aren't applying the bandhas properly.

Still digesting the info from last night, but thought I should share some notes in the meantime.

To read more on David Williams (he is fascinating) please check the following links:

David's website http://www.ashtangayogi.com/ is an excellent resource. In it you can find his biography, info on ashtanga, his teaching schedule, etc. But you will also find articles, a q&a forum, and pictures of the entire system of ashtanga yoga as taught to him by Guruji. For those of you in Ontario, be sure to check him out! March 13 - 16 at Orleans Yoga Shala http://www.oys.ca/.

Guy Donahaye at Ashtanga Yoga Sangha has revamped the original Ashtanga Yoga Shala website to include a forum, videos (of the old shala, very cool!), and interviews with notable members of the ashtanga community. His interview of David Williams is one of many that he has conducted as part of his upcoming film project...
http://aysnyc.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=97&Itemid=160

"While you are doing your yoga, try to be a yogi."

*Edited on 3/10/8 with the help of none other than David Williams. Thanks!
Edited on 3/11/8.

Sick? No fever = practice!

The consensus seems to be: no fever equals practice. Since I look to my ashtanga practice as my medicine, I figure I should follow what the instructions on the bottle say... But, I also told myself that it I really felt like shit this morning (fever or not), I would rest, as I don't want this dragging on for weeks.

When my alarm went off, I did a little "check in" with my body. Vital signs good. Heavy congestion. Diagnosis? Hit snooze and move slow. Seven minutes later, I am convinced that although sleepy, I am feeling better and only congested. I take a shower. I do neti. Some yellow boogers and blood-speckled phlegm later, I eat some chywanaprash. By this point, I'm feeling okay. I bundle up and head out the door.

It is a nice day outside, and at 6:30am, it is getting lighter. About halfway to the subway I get dizzy and realize what the @#$% am I doing out of bed? But can't seem to turn my feet around. Too much effort to change mind. Get to subway station. Hips hurt. Wait for train slumped in a seat. Debating whether or not to call a cab. Train comes. Get on. Reassure self that it is okay. Take bus to shala. Walk through park. Wondering what to practice. Second only? Modified? Not really caring either way. Feeling like I'm sitting inside an egg shell, looking at the world through a lens. Get inside. Feeling ok.

I'm late, but don't really mind as I'm not concerned with getting a new pose or adjustments. Start sun salutes and really get into it. My breathing was so comforting. It was like soft pillow breathing. At Trikonasana, teacher tells me to just do primary. Awesome. Went slow, full, deep breathing, got really sweet adjustments, it was such a soothing, soft, pillowy practice. Back bends were shit, but didn't expect much anyway. Felt good to just take it easy. Relieved that I didn't practice second. All the back bending? Yipes! I'm used to primary. It doesn't really shock my body like it used to. Now, it is like an old friend, a security blanket, my favorite food. My body knows what is coming, and invites it in. Second is getting there, slowly. There are some points, however, where a joint feels gummy, and I've got to breathe through and my nerves are all firing at once. That's why I'm relieved I didn't practice that today. Being sick, I've got that feeling already. My spine, the back of my neck, my shoulders, my right elbow, my hip, my knees, all gummy and achy.

I didn't even break a sweat. I got up and rolled up my mat like I had a good soak in the tub. Bundled myself up, headed out still congested, but feeling better. Yoga magic!

Should you practice ashtanga yoga if you are sick?

Maybe it is like ladies' holiday, you take the first three days off to rest. Or maybe you just keep practicing and sweat it out.

Personally, I feel it is inappropriate for an ill student to attend a class as this exposes others to the possibility of getting sick as well. Plus, its gross practicing next to someone spitting loogies into a tissue. That said, should you practice at home? Will it actually help you get better, or will it just help you keep up a "routine"?

I searched the internet for answers and I invite you to share your understanding of the topic!

In a humorous post (10/25/07) about conservative versus liberal ashtangis, CRON yogitect notes that the conservative will "do primary series when they are sick, unless they have a fever."

In the ashtangayogi.com article entitled "I Ain't No Doctor", Charles Pan shares his notes from a workshop he attended with David Williams. On illness, David suggests that if you are sick, you should "...start with the sun salutations, doing three of each and then getting in bed and covering up to hold in the warm healing prana. Repeat throughout the day. "

Again, in Alan Little's blog, he mentions that David Williams said that he "'never missed a day’s yoga practice in thirty years'. Williams says skipping practice when you are sick is exactly the wrong thing to to – that’s when your body most needs to be energised and cared for by yoga practice. That doesn’t necessarily mean two hours of heinously advanced asana contortions though." ("Ahimsa" 20th July 2005)

In the FAQ's at theyogaroom.co.uk, Abby Hoffmann recommends that students should come to class to practice "if you are only mildly ill". And that indeed, "it may be helpful to practise. However, if you have a temperature and/or your energy level is depressed, practise real yoga: respect your body and rest. If you’re up to it, you could try a gentle restorative practice at home, using blankets and bolsters (there are lots of books with suggestions for passive, restorative postures). Consider others as well, no one will think any less of you if you not at class for reasons of illness and also keeping your germs out of the shala!" (This same info is listed on

http://www.movingprayer.co.uk/astanga_vinyasa.htm.)

Okay, so nothing really definitive. Plus, not all sicknesses are created equal. Do you do the same for the flu as a cold? What about food poisoning? Menstrual cramps? A migraine? Constipation? Bronchitis? Pneumonia? I await the answers!

And is your flu really the flu? I've heard of and experienced "back bending fever", which is usually a 24 hour flu after some intense back bending. Additionally, it is not unheard of for people to get sick during times of intense practice:

"Other mild to stronger symptoms of purification will begin to appear for most practitioners. It is very common to see the increased occurrence of colds and flu and fevers, as well as, headaches, drowsiness and light-headedness. It is important to honor and respect these kinds of changes, as they can be quite deep in one’s system. I recommend that you take extra time to rest and be quiet." (Govinda Kai, Ashtanganews.com, "Ashtanga Yoga and the Path to Purification", November 29, 2006.)

Hmm. Yeah, but I think this is just the flu, flu. I am around many different people every day, I ride the subway, everyone around me is sick. I got sick too. I am not going to the shala today to spare my fellow practitioners, and I might do a couple of sun salutes. I'm going to take the day to rest and hopefully recover before tomorrow. For me, I feel like its better to just rest and get over it (3 days max) and then back to practice to work through anything that's left. But that's me.

The best diet ever!

Sometimes you hear famous last words and you always laugh a little to yourself, shake your head, and say, "famous last words", as if they don't, or won't apply to you. At India Song House Monday night, I sat next to a friend, who most definitely noticed my drop in weight and pale pale skin. She had done a castor oil bath the day before, which had completely destroyed her will to eat, so we shared a common bond. I was under the impression that well, if you couldn't vomit the water, you'd pee it out eventually. Another friend had confirmed this, adding that you should chase the salt water with 1.5 liters of regular water and you'd be peeing your little heart out, feeling right as rain. However, this friend said that she heard that yes, it goes right through you, but not the way you want. Hmm.

Famous last words. Never before have I experienced such incredible misery. I have almost gotten used to it. Despite all my resistance, I have decided to see a doctor and an astrologer. I think between the two, they'll be able to sort me out. That's if I can be bothered to leave the house, of course.

I've moved again.

Right next to the shala. Beautiful house. Big, clean, wireless internet, tv, dvd, a maid, someone to do my laundry, someone to do my dishes. I will never leave.

Sometimes people really surprise you. I was so afraid I might shit my pants in practice today in a very real way. Before putting down my mat, i went into the office to talk to Sharath. I think a lot of people feel like you're not supposed to talk to him, but I feel like he's my teacher, so why not? So I told him that I was feeling sick and didn't know what practice would be like today. he said to just do what I can. He really responded in such a compassionate way, that I was taken aback a little. i feel like he really is watching us, that he really does care, that there is so much more there that we'll never know because there are just so many people here.

On Monday, I saw Guruji stand up from his throne on the stage, walk toward the men's room and instead of going in, he leaned on the door so that he could assist someone in suptavajrasana! (Just like in this picture, but imagine Guruji instead of Sharath). Today, he did the same thing, and I heard later that he adjusted other people as well and tried to assist someone in back bends, but they wouldn't let him. (click here for more on this morning). Sometimes people really surprise you.

Many people are leaving, or have left. I heard tina's had like 3 people there this morning. There are lots of extra spaces in the Shala, and there is virtually no wait time at the door. Loads of houses have opened up, and its getting very quiet and a little sad as many of the 'long timers' begin to make their travel arrangements, take more photos, and begin to say goodbye. I'm looking forward to Saraswati's classes. I wonder how many people will stick around. I know for sure there will be at least 4 of us!

Happy Birthday John!

PS-I heard from a reliable source that Sharath also is a fan of the Gobi Manchurian! (see pic above).

Alex on the best diet ever:

tap water. you have one spoon in the morning, one at night, and before you know it--thin as a rail!

Between my diarrhea and her vomiting, I'd say we are the poster children for parasite-related weight loss...

Yoga-induced bulimia

Imagine me slumped on the bathroom floor next to an empty bottle of salt water, dry heaving, repeating the mantra, "this is so good for me."

One and a half liters of water and salt. Drink fast. Vomit water. Feel clean.

Vaman kriya. It sounded like a really good idea at the time.

I woke up this morning at 3am. The world was spinning, I was incredibly nauseous, my stomach was bloated and tight, all I could do was lie there and moan. I was burping last night's meal and cursing my habit of social eating. I laid down on the bed, missing the morning's led class.

Hours later, I awoke with a semi-normal feeling in my stomach. Inspired by yesterday's talk on pranayama and kriyas, i had decided to try Vaman kriya. I couldn't fathom drinking all that water earlier, but at that point I was feeling alright. So I started to drink. I wasn't sure where to do it, but the toilet seemed too bulimic, so at first I tried the "kitchen sink". I was still a bit dizzy from earlier, so ended up shuffling to bathroom, where I sat next to the drain. I kept drinking the water and sticking my fingers down my throat. Dry heaving. I tried a spoon. Dry heaving. I gave up, laid back on my bed holding my belly now bloated with salt water and cursed all food. No food would enter these lips until the end of time...

The joys of eating Finger food and negotioating your bowels

I didn't know what to expect for Guruji's birthday celebration. As I walked by the Shala on the way to Tina's for breakfast, I noticed camera crews and equipment being set up outside windows and doorways. I tired to make breakfast simple. Toast and fruit. Part of me panics during breakfast. The menus at Shakti and Tina's are just so good that really, I wish I could eat them for every meal. It is the closest I have found to what I would make back in my kitchen at home. And so, every morning, I panic. My eyes grow to the size of watermelons as I order item after item after item. Part of this is probably social as well. People filter in and out and ask you to stay for a chai, so you do. I woke up this morning after 3 days of diarrhea and said to Elissa, "I don't know how good 2 Indian meals a day are for my body..." Stina shrugged at me this morning over the easiest to digest breakfast items she could find and said, "I'm starting to get used to it. Its not as exhausting as it was."

I've seen some people take Tupperware with them to Tina's. I think I've got to do the same. Even when I do have a kitchen that I don't mind using, it is such a bother to have to disinfect and purify everything just to cut a piece of fruit in half. I've got to find some Tupperware.

Many people have worked it out so that they have 2 or 2.5 meals a day. Breakfast is a fruit salad and toast or muesli or dosa with egg. Then they have a heavy meal for either lunch or dinner. I find that most people do the heavy lunch at Rishi's or Anu's. People pack it in! You see string bean people walking in to Anu's having second and third heaping helpings! Dinner is skipped or just some fruit or curd. The big focus is taking a doo practice the next morning. So if you don't eat late the night before, you'll have time to digest and be ready to go in the morning. Lots of people wake up 1, 2, and 3 hours before practice to mosey about and wait for that great urge. I've heard students say that they have coffee in the morning to help the urge. "A" swears by this Ayurvedic stuff called triphala. Apparently this obsession becomes very intense when the led second classes are happening. How this works is (if you're with Sharath): Fridays are led primary classes. One at 5am, the other at 6:15am. Sundays are a led primary class at 5am and a led second at 6:15. You have to be invited to the led second class. Right now there are so many students that the led second has been replaced by another led first. But apparently, when the led second is going on, people obsess the entire week about trying to be fit and ready for that hour and fifteen minutes. People go to bed even earlier than they already do (you start hearing "I'm tired" around 5:30pm).

Not everyone is so intense. I recently found myself surrounded by yoga students drinking and smoking and staying up past 10pm *gasp*! It feels a lot like college dorms freshman year sometimes. You've got a lot of people with a lot of time on their hands, able to spend money freely because of exchange rates, out to meet new people and have a good time. It also can have a lot of the drama you might recall from the dorm rooms. Drama that you can't believe you are hearing from people who are old enough to be your parents' older siblings.

The entire time I've been here so far, all I've been hearing is "have you bought a Sari?" and "what are you wearing to the party?" Honestly, I didn't give it much thought. I bought Guruji some sugar free chocolate from the homemade chocolate stand that is located dangerously close to my house. The stuff often costs more than an entire meal at a restaurant at 50-80 rupees. I also bought a nice pen and used it to write out the "3 wishes for gifts for your birthday", as recommended by my little Sanskrit Scholar, Mardi, back in New York. I did my best, but I have no idea if I got the script right. I hope so. I wrapped the piece of paper around the chocolate and bought a string of flowers from one of the boys who follows yoga students around trying to sell them flowers. I tied my hair up in a bun and used some of the flowers to decorate my hair.

The puja was supposed to start at 11:30am. When we got there, there were many people packed in to the main practice area in the Shala. They were burning a ceremonial fire, and there was definitely not enough ventilation. I'm glad we got floor space next to the windows to park at! There were many Indian people. I'm not sure who they were, but I'm sure many of them were family members of Pattabhi Jois. There were also many yoga students, but not as many as I had expected. Loads of the ladies were wearing saris and many of the men were wearing lunghis (which are pretty little toga-like skirts). Cameras, both fim and photography, were clicking all around. Lori was crawling on the floor with a camera for the documentary she is making.

They moved Guruji up on the stage and we all sat watching the influx of people even though Sharath had said "11:30 don't be late!" There were many famous people in the ashtanga community. Some I knew, some I didn't. Even though there were some men walking around and chanting, I kept looking around, wondering when things would get started. It seemed that most of the ceremonies had been performed before we were told to arrive and most of the show was watching people try to find seats. There were a couple of performances from students. A couple of songs and one dance. Then Sharath said there was food downstairs and that when we see Guruji we shouldn't touch him. Everyone got up and many people headed downstairs while others stood in line to give Guruji the presents that he would never use. Stina says that she saw an entire cabinet in Saraswati's house full of student's gifts from the past. Its the thought that counts.

I stood in the massive crowd that could be called a line and waited for my turn to give Guruji gifts and to say "happy birthday". I couldn't shake the feeling that I was at the mall to take a photo with the Easter Bunny. Guruji sat there on the stage in his fancy chair, wearing all his gold bling while students came up one at a time to put a gift in front of him and then turn to a camera and smile. It was surreal. When my turn came, I placed the flowers on the table in front of him and knelt down to sweep knowledge from his feet to my third eye (in this tradition, it is thought that your teacher's knowledge hangs out in their feet). Then I stood up and handed him the chocolate and said "Happy Birthday! This is chocolate!" He smiled, and then I added, "Its sugarfree!" The smile faded a bit and he siad "Thank you!" And of course, I turned around and smiled for the camera.

Downstairs, people were gathered around the garage. Inside were rows of tables covered with paper. Each person had a banana leaf covered with soggy mush that they were eating greedily with their hands. A traditional Thali meal. At a certain point, servers came through and rolled up the paper from one end of the table to the other (there had to be at least 20 people per table). It was a quick clean up. We rushed in to get seats (apparently there were more than 3 rounds of people eating). We sat down and someone came by to roll new paper down, much like when you visit the doctor. We each got a banana leaf and cup of water. For drinking? No one knew. Some people had stuck their hands in the water and were dousing their leaf. I followed suit. Why not? I didn't know what I was doing anyway. Guys in lunghis with their hairy bellies hanging out came by with buckets containing different food items that they plopped on to the leaves. First, was the water guy. Next came the sweet rice guy, followed by salt, then pickle, then 3 garnishes, and 2 rices. By this point, you were eating, trying to figure out how to use your fingers as a spoon. If you didn't already feel challenged, another guy came by to douse the rice with 2 very soupy items. Soon after came the enormous birthday cake, a new cup, then a pile of mixed nut/trail mix type stuff. I though "ok, this is dessert." But then came a little chocolate fudge, and flaky stuff that looked like wheatabix for the new cup. Then a guy came by with this milky stuff that he dumped on the pseudo-wheatabix. This, fortunately, had a spoon. The food was tasty, but I had to avoid thinking too much about how yucky the whole eating with your hands bit was. There really wasn't anything on that plate that could have constituted as finger food back home.

We were quickly shuffled out and I used that water cup to wash my right hand. As I left, I wondered who I knew back home that would actually eat like this if I took them to a Thali restaurant. Would you?

As soon as I stood up, I realized how much I had actually shoveled in, and Alex and I agreed the best way to recover would be to recline on her couch and watch cable. We undid our belts and found a movie on HBO, Stealing Beauty. Anyone see it? It seemed like it would probably be sexy, and therefore, semi entertaining. Not really, actually. It was probably edited for television, but for us, we just needed to digest lunch, so it was okay.

Today it is raining. For monsoon season, I've been surprised at how little is has actually rained. Today has been the exception. It has rained non-stop since I sat down at this computer to write. I'm supposed to move out of the room that I don't like and into Shelli's apartment that I hope I like. Mostly I don't like dealing with shady landlords and realtors. No matter where you are in the world, they always try to play you. Wish me luck!

Dehli belly

I spent the whole night in a fetal position groaning and moaning swallowing down nausea and hoping for diarrhea. My body ached, the boat was rocking, I was a mess. I knocked on Elissa's door to tell her I wouldn't be practicing today. There was no way. No way.

After a few more hours of sleep, I called Alex and shuffled over to her house, which isn't far. I was sweating and nauseous, but figured that if I had to puke, outside was the best place. Plus, Alex has a squat toilet, which frankly, sounded like the cure. And a television, which cures anything.

She fed me grapefruit seed extract, which if you haven't taken is awful. But apparently, you can use it as an antibacterial. It purifies water, cleans wounds, helps diarrhea, etc, etc. Try a couple of drops and you'll see. I had one bite of millet toast, but couldn't imagine eating much else. You know how when you get really sick to your stomach, you keep thinking back to the thing that you ate, and the thought of that thing is almost enough for you to lose your guts? Well I couldn't stop thinking of roadside family restaurants serving greasy dosas and chutneys. Semolina mush, cheese tortilla thinks, dosas, oh dosas. And a single flash of the one speck of sugar I ate on Chamundi Hill from the cave Swami. These images would flash and my stomach would turn and writing about this right now is making me hold my stomach and cover my mouth. But I'll do it for you, dear reader. I've even dug some flicks off the Internet. You've got the chapati, roti, dosa, and paper dosa. All super greasy. Our "house mom" said that you should eat them only once a week, not three times a day. But everyone else downs them with such vigor and enthusiasm that I didn't want to be left out. But from now on, I'm initiating a boycott. I don't eat gluten anyway, so why did I think this was a good idea?

I feel a little better now, I mean, I was able to walk to Anu's for the net, which is a big leap. I'm not sure how I'll feel tomorrow, but I hope I feel well enough to practice. Some people at the Green Market (every Sunday, the Green Hotel holds a market with all organic produce and such) mentioned that they knew people with a 24 hour bug. Sounds like that could be it. Who knows. At least its not Malaria. I think. What are the symptoms?

Tomorrow I'm also going to join the Sanskrit class, which sounds more like just chanting. Its with a professor Jayashri and it sounds lovely. I'm looking forward to doing something more meaningful than shopping.