It is a bit overcast today and I'm thinking mostly of not thinking and trying to just let go of expectations and wanting to control things. It is a practice. I feel like I'm settling a bit. I'm figuring out my place here in Mysore and finding out how to just be here in a very awake way. It sounds strange to write this, but as much as I have been here, I haven't; and as much as I have been letting go, I've been resistant. I guess we are always going back and forth between these states, but sometimes we are able to step back from it and see it happening. Like right now. So then what do you do when you're not spending your energies on the back and forth? You chant, or read, or walk, or do what ever you do knowing that you're doing it completely awake. None of it is black or white, but it is as simple as turning a switch on or off if we are able to find the switch as we grope in the dark.
It is good to be alone. I can't find these things with other people around. I get distracted. I find however, that it is hard to be alone here. But that's okay. I think I'll lock myself in my room and spend the day with Harry Potter again. It is important to learn how to date yourself.
I'm supposed to go see Shiva in 2 days to see if he has any apartments available. We'll see what happens. If he doesn't have anything I'll try to move in to Saraswati's house. Apparently it is all very crowded right now and nothing is open. In any case, I really would like to get a decent kitchen. For me it feels important to be able to make myself food. Not just because I want to control it, but also because it is cheaper than eating out all the time!
Movies for those who want to see Ashtanga Yoga in action:
Ashtanga, NY
Guru
It is good to be alone. I can't find these things with other people around. I get distracted. I find however, that it is hard to be alone here. But that's okay. I think I'll lock myself in my room and spend the day with Harry Potter again. It is important to learn how to date yourself.
I'm supposed to go see Shiva in 2 days to see if he has any apartments available. We'll see what happens. If he doesn't have anything I'll try to move in to Saraswati's house. Apparently it is all very crowded right now and nothing is open. In any case, I really would like to get a decent kitchen. For me it feels important to be able to make myself food. Not just because I want to control it, but also because it is cheaper than eating out all the time!
Movies for those who want to see Ashtanga Yoga in action:
Ashtanga, NY
Guru
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