The joys of eating Finger food and negotioating your bowels

I didn't know what to expect for Guruji's birthday celebration. As I walked by the Shala on the way to Tina's for breakfast, I noticed camera crews and equipment being set up outside windows and doorways. I tired to make breakfast simple. Toast and fruit. Part of me panics during breakfast. The menus at Shakti and Tina's are just so good that really, I wish I could eat them for every meal. It is the closest I have found to what I would make back in my kitchen at home. And so, every morning, I panic. My eyes grow to the size of watermelons as I order item after item after item. Part of this is probably social as well. People filter in and out and ask you to stay for a chai, so you do. I woke up this morning after 3 days of diarrhea and said to Elissa, "I don't know how good 2 Indian meals a day are for my body..." Stina shrugged at me this morning over the easiest to digest breakfast items she could find and said, "I'm starting to get used to it. Its not as exhausting as it was."

I've seen some people take Tupperware with them to Tina's. I think I've got to do the same. Even when I do have a kitchen that I don't mind using, it is such a bother to have to disinfect and purify everything just to cut a piece of fruit in half. I've got to find some Tupperware.

Many people have worked it out so that they have 2 or 2.5 meals a day. Breakfast is a fruit salad and toast or muesli or dosa with egg. Then they have a heavy meal for either lunch or dinner. I find that most people do the heavy lunch at Rishi's or Anu's. People pack it in! You see string bean people walking in to Anu's having second and third heaping helpings! Dinner is skipped or just some fruit or curd. The big focus is taking a doo practice the next morning. So if you don't eat late the night before, you'll have time to digest and be ready to go in the morning. Lots of people wake up 1, 2, and 3 hours before practice to mosey about and wait for that great urge. I've heard students say that they have coffee in the morning to help the urge. "A" swears by this Ayurvedic stuff called triphala. Apparently this obsession becomes very intense when the led second classes are happening. How this works is (if you're with Sharath): Fridays are led primary classes. One at 5am, the other at 6:15am. Sundays are a led primary class at 5am and a led second at 6:15. You have to be invited to the led second class. Right now there are so many students that the led second has been replaced by another led first. But apparently, when the led second is going on, people obsess the entire week about trying to be fit and ready for that hour and fifteen minutes. People go to bed even earlier than they already do (you start hearing "I'm tired" around 5:30pm).

Not everyone is so intense. I recently found myself surrounded by yoga students drinking and smoking and staying up past 10pm *gasp*! It feels a lot like college dorms freshman year sometimes. You've got a lot of people with a lot of time on their hands, able to spend money freely because of exchange rates, out to meet new people and have a good time. It also can have a lot of the drama you might recall from the dorm rooms. Drama that you can't believe you are hearing from people who are old enough to be your parents' older siblings.

The entire time I've been here so far, all I've been hearing is "have you bought a Sari?" and "what are you wearing to the party?" Honestly, I didn't give it much thought. I bought Guruji some sugar free chocolate from the homemade chocolate stand that is located dangerously close to my house. The stuff often costs more than an entire meal at a restaurant at 50-80 rupees. I also bought a nice pen and used it to write out the "3 wishes for gifts for your birthday", as recommended by my little Sanskrit Scholar, Mardi, back in New York. I did my best, but I have no idea if I got the script right. I hope so. I wrapped the piece of paper around the chocolate and bought a string of flowers from one of the boys who follows yoga students around trying to sell them flowers. I tied my hair up in a bun and used some of the flowers to decorate my hair.

The puja was supposed to start at 11:30am. When we got there, there were many people packed in to the main practice area in the Shala. They were burning a ceremonial fire, and there was definitely not enough ventilation. I'm glad we got floor space next to the windows to park at! There were many Indian people. I'm not sure who they were, but I'm sure many of them were family members of Pattabhi Jois. There were also many yoga students, but not as many as I had expected. Loads of the ladies were wearing saris and many of the men were wearing lunghis (which are pretty little toga-like skirts). Cameras, both fim and photography, were clicking all around. Lori was crawling on the floor with a camera for the documentary she is making.

They moved Guruji up on the stage and we all sat watching the influx of people even though Sharath had said "11:30 don't be late!" There were many famous people in the ashtanga community. Some I knew, some I didn't. Even though there were some men walking around and chanting, I kept looking around, wondering when things would get started. It seemed that most of the ceremonies had been performed before we were told to arrive and most of the show was watching people try to find seats. There were a couple of performances from students. A couple of songs and one dance. Then Sharath said there was food downstairs and that when we see Guruji we shouldn't touch him. Everyone got up and many people headed downstairs while others stood in line to give Guruji the presents that he would never use. Stina says that she saw an entire cabinet in Saraswati's house full of student's gifts from the past. Its the thought that counts.

I stood in the massive crowd that could be called a line and waited for my turn to give Guruji gifts and to say "happy birthday". I couldn't shake the feeling that I was at the mall to take a photo with the Easter Bunny. Guruji sat there on the stage in his fancy chair, wearing all his gold bling while students came up one at a time to put a gift in front of him and then turn to a camera and smile. It was surreal. When my turn came, I placed the flowers on the table in front of him and knelt down to sweep knowledge from his feet to my third eye (in this tradition, it is thought that your teacher's knowledge hangs out in their feet). Then I stood up and handed him the chocolate and said "Happy Birthday! This is chocolate!" He smiled, and then I added, "Its sugarfree!" The smile faded a bit and he siad "Thank you!" And of course, I turned around and smiled for the camera.

Downstairs, people were gathered around the garage. Inside were rows of tables covered with paper. Each person had a banana leaf covered with soggy mush that they were eating greedily with their hands. A traditional Thali meal. At a certain point, servers came through and rolled up the paper from one end of the table to the other (there had to be at least 20 people per table). It was a quick clean up. We rushed in to get seats (apparently there were more than 3 rounds of people eating). We sat down and someone came by to roll new paper down, much like when you visit the doctor. We each got a banana leaf and cup of water. For drinking? No one knew. Some people had stuck their hands in the water and were dousing their leaf. I followed suit. Why not? I didn't know what I was doing anyway. Guys in lunghis with their hairy bellies hanging out came by with buckets containing different food items that they plopped on to the leaves. First, was the water guy. Next came the sweet rice guy, followed by salt, then pickle, then 3 garnishes, and 2 rices. By this point, you were eating, trying to figure out how to use your fingers as a spoon. If you didn't already feel challenged, another guy came by to douse the rice with 2 very soupy items. Soon after came the enormous birthday cake, a new cup, then a pile of mixed nut/trail mix type stuff. I though "ok, this is dessert." But then came a little chocolate fudge, and flaky stuff that looked like wheatabix for the new cup. Then a guy came by with this milky stuff that he dumped on the pseudo-wheatabix. This, fortunately, had a spoon. The food was tasty, but I had to avoid thinking too much about how yucky the whole eating with your hands bit was. There really wasn't anything on that plate that could have constituted as finger food back home.

We were quickly shuffled out and I used that water cup to wash my right hand. As I left, I wondered who I knew back home that would actually eat like this if I took them to a Thali restaurant. Would you?

As soon as I stood up, I realized how much I had actually shoveled in, and Alex and I agreed the best way to recover would be to recline on her couch and watch cable. We undid our belts and found a movie on HBO, Stealing Beauty. Anyone see it? It seemed like it would probably be sexy, and therefore, semi entertaining. Not really, actually. It was probably edited for television, but for us, we just needed to digest lunch, so it was okay.

Today it is raining. For monsoon season, I've been surprised at how little is has actually rained. Today has been the exception. It has rained non-stop since I sat down at this computer to write. I'm supposed to move out of the room that I don't like and into Shelli's apartment that I hope I like. Mostly I don't like dealing with shady landlords and realtors. No matter where you are in the world, they always try to play you. Wish me luck!