The ancient struggle

Do you have info on practicing 2nd series while preggers at the Shala? If so, please let me know! (See Sept 1 post)

My alarm was set for 4am. I could not get to sleep last night. Some might argue it was the large amount of chocolate I consumed after 3pm. Maybe. Maybe it was just too much thinking. In any case, the alarm went off, I reached for the clock, turned it off, and then used it to snuggle with like a stuffed teddy bear. Off to dreamland I went...

I woke with a start. Someone turned the lights on in my head and something went "shit! wake up! what time is it?" And so my eyes opened and said, "shit! I'm late!" I turned on the light and read the clock. It was 4:30. People start queuing at 4:30. I scrambled to get my things together, the sleep still aching in my bones and ran after Petra to the Shala. The gates were already open and everyone already inside when I arrived. I held my breath as I went through the doors, and laughed at how empty it was. A few weeks ago, there were 3 PACKED led classes. Now there is one comfortable led class. I got a spot, put down my mat, and tried to keep myself from getting too comfortable with closing my eyes.

Guruji walked onto the stage to lead class and before starting the chant, instructed the people set up on the stage to move their mats onto the floor. This is huge. Since I've been here, Sharath has been the one keeping things in check, with Guruji's presence being all that he could offer. But now, he's adjusting a little bit, he's organizing mats, he's added a few extra stops to the "Pattabhi Express". The pacing on Friday and today was much closer to normal. After class, a line formed in front of him. Students were taking turns bowing and saying "thank you". I know that when he came to New York, we always did this. And I've heard that in the past, people did this in Mysore as well. I was a bit thrown off when I arrived because after class, students just got up and left. On a rare occasion you would see someone pay their respects, but it wasn't the standard. This made me kind of sad. It seemed disrespectful. The energy is just different now that there are less people. More intimate. Not necessarily more serious or intense, but definitely more...something.

I stayed after my class to watch the led second series with Sharath. There were only 13 students! It was incredible to watch and must have been incredible to practice knowing that Sharath would be watching you very closely. In prasarita padotanasana, some people have this habit of inhaling into a back bend before folding forward. If its all about economy of movement and precision of vinyasa, than this isn't something one would do. In the classes I teach, I'm always like "save the drop backs!" Anyway, in the led second, Sharath was able to give more precise instructions because there were less students. When a few people did their pseudo-back bend-huge-inhale-before-folding he yelled, "No head back!"

Rachel came here not knowing any ashtanga. She said she was interested in yoga and her mom told her to do it right and go to india. So she did. She has learned the entire primary series in about 2 months, which is really fast by "Sharath in Mysore" standards. It is so incredible to think that all the information she has is what Sharath thought she needed to know. Nothing more, nothing less. It is so special.

My house mate is napping again. We are like children here in Mysore. Many naps. We were talking about it earlier, about how really, we can't be bothered to do a whole lot because we are just so tired. But its not just the physical practice that tires us out. Its like we come here to rest from life. It takes a little bit of time to do that. To decompress, then acclimate, then detox, then explore, the prioritize, then experience, then form habits, then perhaps journey back.

I just read an article in a Rolling Stone that I found on our bookshelf. The magazine is celebrating 40 years of "being" and interviewed many different luminaries that have colored our collective history. In an interview with Bob Dylan, he talks about what it was like to become "Bob Dylan" when he first went to New York. (By this I mean, he was discussing his creative process when writing songs.) He says,

"'What is human nature really like?' Not 'what am I really like, what do I really like, what don't I like, what am I all about?' Not that kind of thing, but 'what are all these invisible spirits all about?' ... Its a more ancient struggle."

I think its important to stay out here for a long time. Its not about the postures, or getting more poses. There's so much more to explore in here (pats head and heart). So much to sort though. My house mate says the purpose of life is to find ourselves.

I'm reminded of the "one year to live meditation" which, for me is a bit challenging because if I really did it full blast, there would be nothing left in my wake. So, i'm doing a more sattvic version because I will probably be alive in a year.

Anyway, if you're in the US, check out this list of 40 songs that changed the world. (I wish I had the person's job who gets to make lists like this all the time.) This is worth a look! Music. Aaaah.

I'm really enjoying lists of things to do before you die. I started to make my own list before knowing there were so many lists. I was happy to see there were many things I already was doing. I'm not sure what is better. Just living without lists and letting things happen or making a list and trying my best to make it happen. I think it is the same, but one way may use more paper...

100 things to do. brass612.tripod.com/cgi-bin/things.html

200 things to do. http://www.dramaking.de/archiv/363

Maxim's list of things to do. http://www.maximonline.com/articles/index.aspx?a_id=4119

a lot of people have got a thing with swimming with dolphins. *shrug*

Interesting blog on the subject:
http://hirak.blogspot.com/2005/05/100-things-to-do-before-you-die.html

Website of stories from people who are actively trying to tick things off their lists: http://www.2dobeforeidie.com/

Movie about a young mother who finds out she is going to die and makes a list. Very sad. "My life without me".

I met a man wounded in love/I met a man wounded in hatred
Dylan. Wow. He blows my mind every time. I'm downloading videos of the 40 songs while I write this and you have to listen to this if you want the full experience. Also you should read this on the floor kneeling on cushions with the windows to your house open and the sound of rain drowning everything else.

And now, Dylan: