Tuesday, March 18, 2008

No fearing!

I knew I had to do it by myself. You see, I am afraid of falling. Right before headstand or any other arm inversion, I think briefly about toppling forward into, well, into what I'm not sure. The unknown? I am afraid. Then I tell myself, very compassionately, to shut up and get on with it.

So I put my forearms down on the rug and I know that I need to figure it out myself. I kick and kick and fall and do some floating and then "pphhmp!" I got it. And then I land. I could detect some movement in my arms and I think I end up elbows up, but can't recall. But I'm determined. I must figure this out by myself, so I try again. More kicking, some floating, and then that's when I feel it. At a certain point I can remember seeing the golden thread of my rug and then my sense of "self" moves up my spine to this mass hovering in the sky. I hold forearm stand and then land in chaturanga all by myself! Hands might have moved back about an inch. At this point I'm having fun and go again. I remember that feeling. It felt like how that alien thing looks in the movie version of Naked Lunch. You know, the part where Bill finds Joan in Interpol and the typewriter turns into this pink throbbing skeleton pelvis butt thing? Well that's what I was looking for as I hop my legs up. Sure enough I felt it, held it, and again landed with small hand movements detected.

"Imagine how surprised you'll be when you come up next week in karandavasana," my teacher laughs. "I better not eat for a week!" I joke, remembering the extremist behaviors of led second series peeps in Mysore. "Only chapatis," he says as I drop back, still laughing.

8 comments:

  1. Super! I landed today as well, but was afraid to try again as I was not sure it would happen again. I will try with more confidence tomorrow as it seems to happen when you think the least about all that is involved.

    Happy Practicing.

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  2. He's already talking about your next pose?!!! What has happened while I have been gone??!!

    Maybe I should come back!

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  3. excellent!! You did it by yourself in record time. There's a woman I practice with who has been working on coming out of pincha forever... and it doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime soon. She would hate you. ha! I told my teacher that I think a judo class should be required before any gravity defying poses are attempted. Judo teaches one how to fall and not get hurt. I took judo. I have no fear. I might crush YOU, but I won't get hurt. Just kidding. All falling is controlled. It's the power of judo/yoga combo. Love hearing about your progress- thanks for writing so frequently!

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  4. Liz,

    I did it yesterday if you are referring to me in your post :)

    Happy Practicing.

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  5. ha ha ha!!! I didn't see you... if you, "anonymous", are Juliet. That's great. Sorry I outed you on a blog- but it was an anonymous outing. No one knows who we are... or probably cares. Now you're ready for the fun times of karandavasana. See you in class! (and you will do it again, once you get it, it's got)- and Elise, I was simply saying that it's incredible that you got it in 2 days. I think it took me 6 months to come out of it.

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  6. a- its such an amazing feeling! i agree, better not to think.

    yc- you should come back!

    bll (1)- well, it wasn't my first forearm stand ever, so I think that should be taken into account, but it was my first ashtanga forearm stand :) some things come easy to some people like bhujapidasana, jump backs, setu bandasana, pasasana heels down, bhekasana, lagu vajrasana, bakasana B. These poses have been very challenging for me...

    a (2)- congrats!

    bll (2)- thanks again. I hope its got!

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  7. Elise, seems like you have some Texas fans... there's another woman I practice with who told me she reads (and loves) your blog! Oh, and before you get too impressed that I can go down in karanda- I'm built like an ox and have freakishly strong shoulders. Laguvajrasana was the bane of my existence for so long. I can get up (finally), but it takes all the power I can muster and I always mouth, "it's a miracle" when I'm finished. If poses weren't challenging it wouldn't be so rewarding, I guess. I'm not sure I've done a pose that hasn't been somewhat of a struggle. The ones I thought I could do always ended up being the "starter pose"- you know what I mean. You get the gross part of the pose down and then the teacher fine tunes it so you reeeeally know what it's supposed to be. So hard! Ashtanga is hard!

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