Summer Camp

Everyone is leaving. Life in Mysore is now practice, eating, sleeping, and saying goodbye. The few of us still around are excited about the less crowded shala and the possibility of more personal attention, surrendering to Saraswati (because its all you can do), a later practice time, and Guruji adjustments. Yes, it may be a bit optimistic, but he was very peppy last week, and today's led class was a lot closer to old Guruji style.

The energy has shifted in the Mysore community. In July, it was very intense, almost stressful at the Shala because there were just so many people. And everywhere you went post-practice was packed. Now, things are a bit slower, a bit easier. I get this feeling of sentimentality from people. Today with Guruji teaching, it felt like the room wanted to hug. Rachel says maybe we've just settled in, and now, everything is a little softer since we're not faced with fight or flight all the time. We've learned how to deal with situations, how to relax, how to be here.

Yesterday's practice was incredible. The bloating had gone down, the diarrhea was was on its way out, I felt very light, although also a bit weak. I had to practice very slow. I didn't want to overexert myself because without a doubt, I am still dehydrated (yes, I know I'll get the electrolyte powder eventually). But because of this, the practice was so sweet. When I got to back bends, I felt incredibly open. I did one, walked close, two, walked close, and on 3 i have been taking one hand to my ankle, putting it down and then doing the other and then standing up. Yesterday at that moment I put my left hand out, grabbed just above my heel, then said "why not?", and took my right hand and grabbed my right ankle. I hovered there in that moment thinking "FUCK! I am holding my ankles!" Without thinking it. My body was just exploding all nerves surging, all atoms vibrating, smiling from the inside, when all of a sudden, somewhere in the back of my mind began to say, "you are going to fall over'. My mind and body didn't know which way was up or down or how to handle it, so I clung to my ankles for dear life as I fell back onto my elbows. My upper back went CRACK! And luckily, it felt really really good. I let go of my ankles, put my hands on the floor and came back up to wheel. Laughing at how funny that probably looked to whoever saw, like Bambi trying to stand up for the first time. All awkward and innocent.

I did the standard 3 drop backs on my own, then 3 half ways with Sharath followed by what is now upper-calf grabbing. I held on and began to straighten my legs. Chakras spinning up toward the sky, shining light charging. Aaaaaaaaah.....And then up to stand and back to the floor for forward bend.

I left practice on cocaine and cloud nine and ecstasy and bliss. I felt like anything is possible, like I had jumped over a 10 foot fence. Like I could lift a car over my head and chop open a coconut with my hand. HiYah!

Like any high, later that day I crashed hard. Sitting in the living room alone thinking how I wanted something but couldn't figure out what, pouting my little heart out. Yoga is so funny.

The weather is good for being sentimental right now. Its been overcast and threatening to rain. It makes me feel like watching horror movies, wearing black, drinking coffee, and smoking cigarettes with my legs crossed showing off calf-length black boots. It feels like New York. It feels like the end of Yoga Summer Camp.

I also recently saw the film "Guru". It is short, like all yoga docs, but it truly captures what it feels like to be here because the camera stays almost the entire time in Gokulum (the neighborhood we live in). See it!