There is a plaque on the wall which reads "Best place to renew your drivers licence" by New York Press. There is an award for this? What exactly were the criteria? At this point, I'm thinking this MVD "Express" won because it has truly captured the New York experience.
People are standing in lines, sitting around, leaning against walls, running to counters when they hear their numbers. Everyone seems so know where to be except me. Like any good consumer, I head to the right and behold--the information desk. I get my paperwork, find no pens in the "pens box" and see too much hostility and self imposed isolation from those surrounding me to ask to borrow. So I walk out the doors (but they haven't beat me) no, I go next door to the HSBC and use one of those pens on a chain to complete my forms, and then head back in. Do I need a number? A line? Should I just sit and wait? I decide to stand in a line. Turns out to be the right choice. I finish my book. I thank myself for remembering my ipod. As I crank up the volume I wonder how people survived without them. I look around and fantasize about being in that Stone Temple Pilots video "Everybody Hurts" and singing out loud and we all riot and get the fuck out of the there. We overthrow the system. I smile to myself and swallow that.
Why are we here and what on earth are we doing? We are waiting in lines to get licences to drive. We think we have to. We think we are contributing to order and safety.
Why does this suck? It is hours in and I'm pissed because it says "Express" in the title and it is everything but. What did I expect? A fast food "drive thru" window? When I was in India, I carved a place in my heart for experiencing situations like this. "This is So India!' I'd think. And now I'm realizing that this is so New York. Evil civil servants with bald spots (even the women) and bad skin. Angry citizens in tacky outdated clothing like sweat suits. No pens in the pens box. Broken toilet (I've had to pee the entire time). An old man that looks like MR. Magoo and has a half smoked, unlit cigar stuck to his lip the whole time.
This is my first New York licence and it will have my New York address. I've lived here for 6 years and I am only just started to really be here. And now I am leaving.
Tips on surviving the New York MVD:
1. Bring a pen
2. Bring an ipod
3. Bring water
4. Use the toilet before
5. Eat before
6. Bring a fun read
7. Sudoku
8. Wear comfortable shoes
9. Have no expectations
10. Stay positive
11. A smile goes a long way.
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