Notes, thoughts, ramblings -- a post practice conversation

My package was at the post office after all and as expected, it was like the black lodge. The poor thing had definitely been through quite a bit and if we could trace the life of the package from the USA to here, I'm sure it would be an interesting voyage that would include car rides, plane rides, boats, being dropped, elephants, mistaken identity, being used as furniture, the night as a pillow, etc. Or maybe that's just how it looks. Note to senders: when mailing packages, I recommend the "divide and conquer" method in which items are all sent individually, thereby increasing the odds that at least one package will make it to the addressee.

We're still hearing drums. The Ganesh festival was last week and I think officially just one day--I mean, we got one day off from the shala. I remember last year that there was a night around the time of the festival that I heard what I was certain was an angry mob that was bringing a riot to Gokulum. Later, my roommies and I found out that it was actually a parade (we had practice the following morning and weren't about to go gallivanting into the night to see for ourselves). But this year, we're still hearing the drums. We heard them outside the window last night. It's this wild raw sound. We went outside and saw a crowd of men dancing (almost capoiera style) and drumming madly around a huge Ganesh statue on a truck (I suppose this is a float) that was lit with twinkling "Christmas" lights. Oh, and they were lighting fireworks/small explosive devices. This was all in the middle of the road and definitely without a permit of any kind (I'm imagining the kind of attention this would get in the streets of New York). We all stood outside of our house watching as vehicles happened to drive right next to or over the explosives just as they would go off. We laughed as the drivers spooked their cars and scooters almost off the road and into the ravine. Removing obstacles?

I'm still settling into this new routine. Is practice getting worse, is it changing, or is my body adapting? Hard to tell, but it still feels awkward. Even as I recognize these reactions, the majority of me feels incredibly grateful/blessed/honored/humbled/etc. The whole time I'm thinking one part "full power" and one part "this is amazing". I feel so lucky that my arms and legs work, that I am alive, that I am fortunate to be able to do things like this, and I only hope that I can remember that feeling the rest of the day because it makes me want to do better, think better, help more...

There are two main coconut men in the "Gok". The first is the coconut guru who runs the official coconut stand where everyone meets up and uses as a point of reference for directions. The other is the coconut man who works outside of the shala during practice hours. Yesterday in painting class, Tomasz told me that he died the previous night of a heart attack. It was so sudden. The only thing I could think of was what was going to happen to his family. So we planned a benefit dinner for them on Friday.

Back to practice: Holding supta vajrasana for a long time as I wait for Sharath or Saraswati to hold my legs down sometimes makes my arms go to sleep. It is actually quite uncomfortable. Then right after that pose I have to do bakasana which is fine but in b where I have to jump into it, I sometimes have trouble (like today for instance). Then in bharadvajrasana--oooh paining!

I feel horrible for even talking about that practice bs next to someone passing. How lucky I am to even be uncomfortable. Really, the pain is a reminder that I'm alive.