"Don't engage, suck in!" Huh? Really? Apparently, I am trying so hard to engage and "grip" in karandavasana that I am pressing my stomach out and flexing like crazy. I'm surprised I don't pop out a poop right in mid-air like I'm pushing out to give birth. So, stop manhandling the pose, and stop trying to be a boy muscling into everything. (Imagine me? The one with no muscles, muscling into poses?) Start refining. Start connecting with the roots of my own practice. Start practicing like me--like a girl. And furthermore, what girl doesn't know how to suck in her stomach?
So I try again and again and can't for the life of me figure out how to disengage my fury of muscles and suck in like (gasp) uddiyana bandha (duh). I've gotten a couple of extra-curricular "exercises" to help gain some intelligence in karandavasana.
Phase 1
1. In headstand, take padmasana
2. Practice crossing padmasana in shoulderstand without using hands
Phase 2
3. Practice crossing legs by oneself in pincha or at wall
4. practice lifting the lead off the floor in headstand to learn how to engage core
Phase 3
5. Practice lowering padmasana legs in headstand and coming back up
6. Practice taking padmasana in tripod headstand and lowering to backs of arms
Ok, cool. I go to the back of class and commence shoulderstand and think (for a moment) of what poses relate to this that I could work on? I'm already putting all I've got into bandhas and jumping and lifting and so what's left? As I'm thinking this, I see the answer is literally right in front of me. I have mulabandha, but my stomach is sticking out in shoulderstand. It is strong, but not sucking in. So I make this the focus. Not so bad in shoulderstand, but nearly impossible for me in halasana and karnapidasana. And then I realize all these things, right in front of my eyes, that I've just been brushing by, just skimming over, just letting go. I make and extra effort in urdhva padmasana and pindasana. It was hard! I was really uncomfortable and remembered why I just stopped bothering. My floating ribs are sensitive and this made them really uncomfortable. But today I adjusted and found a way and there it was.
On to headstand. 25 breaths there, halfway 10 breaths, came back up, the whole time really focusing on the sucking in. When I could do it, I felt taller and more stable and I could actually feel my abs working in a much different way. Then I took padmasana and took an inhale. Then I exhaled everything out and at the bottom of the exhale sucked my belly toward my spine and lowered down and then came up. What the #$@!? It worked! I did it again and again going lower each time. Positively giddy, I did the tripod version and same thing.
The question now is: can I figure out how to feel stable enough in pincha that I can have enough time to relax by belly for even just one second to be able to suck in? I think it must be possible. I did it in the headstands...
Earlier, after back bending, my teacher reassured me that the student next to me was stuck in the pose for a few years before going on to the next. Thanks.
It is definitely an entry point into a whole other level of practice. If you've managed to sneak by without making many life changes up until this point, now it comes. Time to really think about sleep, energy, food, relationships, concentration, emotions, mental state, trishtana, etc. But it isn't all for the pose. The pose is a means. It is reflecting life changes that one should be making to be healthier and happier just because. If there is ever a place where a student is challenged to transform, it is here.
In the meantime, other things have changed while I wasn't looking. The jumps are jumpier. The floats are "floatier". Krounchasana does leave me feeling electrocuted anymore. My left heel touches the floor in bhekasana, I don't have to cross my fingers in laguvajrasana, kapotasana is consistent, arms straight in bakasana are close. The eka padas are actually getting comfortable. I can cross fairly deeply in dwi pada, yoganidrasana is fab, and tittibhasana is showing much improvement! I can swing straight legs (with much effort into B). I'm taking a deeper bind in C and I can see my belly (which is not sucked in) in D.
I'm in the middle of "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" which makes me want to get back into learning french.
Watched "Sisters" with Chloe Sevigny the other night. Really weird. But in a good way.
hmm... sucking in the stomach! I forget to do that too. Thanks for the play-by-play, it's fun to read and there are good tips in there. I muscle everything and when there's an accidental moment when I don't, I start to understand what I'm supposed to be doing! David Swenson said something in a workshop that has always stuck with me (but is still a mystery in my own practice), he said that he eventually learned to do everything with the least amount of effort, only engaging what was needed. That not only gives him the energy needed to keep the practice flowing, but also gives him that floaty look. There ain't nothing floaty about my practice. There's still hope though.
ReplyDeleteman, you were in the back of the room thinking about poop... if I had only known!
ReplyDeletenice post
The balancing act of upward dog while lowering...I laughed again yesterday, it all seems so funny to me. I will be suck in Karan-land for a good period of time. It is okay though because the rest is so much fun!
ReplyDeleteHappy Practicing
Yes! Thats it! Making all these life changes so I can get in the asana. It all makes sense to me now.
ReplyDelete